Bittersweet Memories
by LaurenMonster
Summary: A simple life is what he wanted. One girl, one boy, retire when the girl marries and the boy has a job. An average wife.  She wants to prove herself in a cruel world. She wants acceptance and to prove her strength. DESPERATE FOR REVIEWS, COMMENTS
1. Shattered by Broken Dreams

She never played with any children. She never ran alongside countless others in a simple game of tag. She never used her skills playing hide-and-seek. It's not like she refused, she was just never asked. She plainly watched, her emotions clear on her face. Frustration. Sorrow. Longing. Her silky red hair danced with the wind sauntering through the open window.

"Roran," a voice from the doorway spoke, "it's time for your breathing treatment."

The nurse gestured to the bed. The stark, crisp sheets were plain and newly changed. Roran sighed composing herself before obeying. That was all she ever did. Obey. Do this, do that, don't go outside, stay away from the window, walk, don't run.

As she sat on the bed, sounds of young kids drifted in teasing her.

"Laps? Sensei, we always run laps!"

"Oi, Iruka Sensei, when is snack time?"

Roran's hands clutched the bedsheets, scrunching up the material. Her knuckles slowly turning white from the pressure.

"Sasuke-kun, can I run beside you?"

The nurse pressed the oxygen mask to Roran's face gingerly.

"Back off, Billboard Brow!"

Tears formed creating Roran's eyes to be lighter shade of blue.

"Shut up, Ino Pig!"

A flick of the machine and a mingling gush of air and medicine quickly drowned out the voices. The nurse's kind brown eyes watched Roran's impassive face. _She is suffering, _she thought. Roran heard nothing more than the machine and the retreating footsteps of the nurse. At the click of the shutting door, Roran cleared her mind and remembered. Remembered everything in her life so far. She knew she was young, and in time she would join her age group in battle. She would help defend The Hidden Village of Leaves. Her bloodline couldn't go to waste. Her honor and pride wouldn't allow it.

Roran stared at the machine helping her stabilize her breathing. "I'll grow stronger," she whispered to the wind, "tomorrow I begin lessons at the Academy. One day, I'll be known."

She turned towards the window, her hand pushing her bangs from sight.

"I promise."

* * *

Alright. First chapter down. I wanted to leave things a little vague and slightly introduce my character. The reason for her breathing will be later explained and developed throughout the story. Oh, there is a significance in the 'remembering.' I'm trying to base Roran off of me, so it is easier to stay in character. It's familiar territory.  
The little heartthrob isn't introduced but he will next chapter. If you can't tell who 'he' will be from the story description, you need to rewatch the anime.

I'm sorry if anything is ever confusing to read, I just write. Grammar isn't really my friend. Comments or opinions are welcome.


	2. Honor To Us All

So I forgot to put this in the first chapter, my bad. It makes me happy that I had so many hits on my first chapter and it was barely an intro. Roran is practically my character and I want to develop her throughout the chapters as if she was finding herself. The breathing difficulties are going to be explained also, along with her bloodline that I very subtly hinted at.

If you don't like OC characters, I am very sorry. Go read other stories. My character is me, just in anime form. Every problem I have, she has. It keeps to easier to stay in character and not butcher any character Kishimoto created. I am not at that level of writing yet.

Oh, point of view has changed. Third person will only be used when referring to her bloodline, until then it will be in first person.

I own nothing except my character, Roran.

* * *

A soft knock interrupted me from my reverie. The knob clicked and twisted revealing my father.

Well not biological father. Adoptive father. During a past rebellious streak at the tender age of three, I escaped my hospital room and ran. Running might seem mediocre to some, but to me it is the world. Eventually the nurses found me and a chase ensued throughout Konoha. Their yelling attracted the attention of four Jounin: Might Guy, Yuuhi Kurenai, Sarutobi Asuma, and Hatake Kakashi. Everyone, except Kakashi, lunged for me. They knew me as 'kid who appeared at the gates,' meaning my parents couldn't care for me and dumped me at the nearest civilization. Harsh, yes, but necessary? Probably.

I thrust my tiny little hands into a quick hand seal and focused what chakra I had into my feet. It gave a little boost to get me by them. Of course, they weren't expecting it. Then I dove headfirst into Kakashi. I couldn't run anymore. My legs felt like jello and my breathing was rapid and high-pitched. Kakashi cradled me for a moment then put me on his hip like I was his own daughter.

Since that moment, he became my father. That was ten years ago and he has been there for me ever since.

It is one of my most fondest memories. I remember everything, every little detail, event… everything. This memory isn't a blessing. It's curse. Somethings you just want to forget, like why the chakra network connecting my lungs is destroyed.

I winced. _Forget it, Roran._ My hands snaked their way into my hair, grabbing tufts of red curls. Pictures flooded my vision. I squeezed my eyes shut to block them out but they came anyway. A man with long black hair and harsh dark eyes. A teenage assistant with hair so white, it was almost angelic. Too bad they were nowhere near angels. Sharp tools, a snake, blood. They were saying some-

"Stop." This quiet command demanded my attention, accompanied with a firm grip on my shoulder made the memories disappear, slowly.

"Control your breathing. Deep breathes, in the mouth, out the nose." He spoke with an almost unnoticeable trace of worry. Almost.

I obeyed. In. Out. In. Out. My fists loosened the deathgrip on my hair while my eyes sluggishly opened.

"Otousan!" I watched Kakashi's face. His uncovered eye crinkled meaning he was smiling.

His hand grabbed mine, still loosely entangled in my hair. "You start at the Academy today." He spoke, carefully watching me. "Also, you are being released from in-patient today. You can finally go home now."

A large grin broke across my face. I was nearly bouncing with excitement, but something seemed off in Kakashi's demeanor. "What's up?" I asked.

"You aren't allowed to run and Iruka will closely be watching in any jutsus performed. No survival tests, no laps, no physical fitness." His voice was barely a whisper. I stopped bouncing and the grin was completely gone. No trace of it left.

"I know you aren't happy about those conditions. They are required. It's for your safety." With the sentence, he cupped my face gently with both hands. I scowled and avoided eye contact.

"Look at me." His thumb brushed across my cheek. "My daughter, look at me." This command was more harsh. I caved and met my blue eyes with his dark. Dark yet kind eyes. Different than the eyes of-

"You will strengthen your lungs in training with me. It needs to be a controlled setting, not an Academy playground with other kids. Does this seem fair?"

"I guess." At least this way I couldn't embarrass myself in front of my classmates.

Kakashi released his hold on me and grabbed one of my hands. "Good. Let's go. You don't need to be late. Not like it matters, it seems Naruto has already stirred up some trouble."


	3. Lonely Road

Hey, there. This story has gotten a number of hits/visitors that shocks me. I didn't expect so many so soon, especially because the main heartthrob has been introduced. Well he is in this chapter. (:

Speaking of the number of readers, I have no reviews. No comments. No opinions. No nothing. Come on, tell me what you think. Tell me, "it's cool." Or ,"it sucks!" or "I like it!"

Give me something. Please? :3

Dialogue was taken from the actual Naruto manga book. I own nothing except Roran.

* * *

"NARUTO!" An edgy voice yelled. Frustration laced through the single word and gave it power. You could tell this was yelled many times a day.

I drew my gaze from the window down rows of desks until it reached Naruto. _Poor guy…_ Previous to the barking, I had been admiring his work upon the Stone Faces. He actually has quite the artistic talent; however, the image portrayed to most ninja was not the image Naruto was hoping for.

I admired his bravery. Especially now being chewed out in front of his peers.

"Tomorrow all of your classmates will pass the final and graduate from the ninja academy, but the last TWO times this day came around, you flunked every course you'd taken in the secret arts!"

The class was silent. Apart from Iruka's rant, the soft snores of a sleeping Shikamaru could be heard. Naruto didn't respond. He scowled, closing his blue eyes and scrunching his mouth to the side.

"So you chose now for your stupid tricks? YOU MORON!"

I thought Sensei's vein couldn't bulge out anymore but I was proven wrong.

_Don't do it, Naruto.._

"Sir, yes, sir.

_Baka._

Iruka couldn't contain his anger. It showed plainly on his face. I'm sure kids in the front row were scared out of their pants. Instead of another yelling, he controlled it.. slightly.

He sighed, " Today in class we'll be reviewing the art of transformation."

The whole class groaned. I looked around, excited. Today was my first day, after all.

First day and tomorrow is the graduation? Yeah, that stirred up some trouble. I was once Naruto's partner in crime until I was fully admitted into the hospital. We played all kinds of tricks on people, especially Sasuke. Naruto eventually snuck his way into my room and taught me everything that was learned at the academy.

"All you have to do is conjure a form that looks like me! Alright? Now line up."

Chairs scraped across the floor, feet shuffled their way down to front. I hopped up from my chair. _Finally, a chance to participate! _

I wedged myself between Sakura and Sasuke. It was disturbing having flirtatious remarks around me to an unhearing receiver. Awkward.

"Alright, Haruno Sakura! You're up."

The pink haired beauty bounced her way up, coming very close to bumping into Sasuke. She threw her long hair over her shoulder, I guess in an attempt to woo him? Sasuke remained impassive, a dead expression on his face. Yeah, Sakura, that totally worked.

She formed the seal, muttered a bubbly "Transform!" and a perfect Iruka copy appeared.

Iruka smiled checking off his list, "Very good. Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura jumped form her spot giggling, "Sasuke! Did you see that! I did it!"

She bragged a little more before moving along. Of course, I would do the same. I have only done this jutsu with Naruto watching.

Wait. I'm between Sakura and Sasuke! Was I just skipped? My eyes widened and looked around. Worry was obvious in my expression. I turned trying to find a comfort in a friend. My eyes locked with deep pair. I couldn't read the emotion in them. Confusion? Sleepiness? Boredness? You could never tell with Shikamaru.

An eyebrow cocked faintly while a small smirk appeared. He shifted, bending one leg to rest against the desk and shoved his hands deep into his pockets.

"Uzumaki Naruto." Shikamaru removed one hand and pushed the unwilling blonde forward. His eyes still held mine. I couldn't tear my eyes away. His lazy smirk grew bigger. His eyes still focused on mine.

My chest was tight. _Remember to breathe. _I took a deep breath and abruptly faced the front. I watched Naruto turn his back to sneers. Another trick was probably coming up.

I wanted to see of he was still looking at me. Just turn around, glance, turn back. Simple right?

Whoa, hold up.

_Oh geez, I'm like Hinata around him! What is wrong with me?_

I clenched my fists and set my gaze at the window watching the hustle and bustle of the streets. _I will not be reduced to a blushing, stuttering idiot because of some boy! _

"Sensei, you forgot Roran." Naruto said, ignoring the mean jabs and looks.

Iruka looked up from his clipboard. "She will go later."

_Once everyone is gone._ I thought, finishing his sentence. I sighed, blowing out a rush of hot air. I felt a little defeated. The curious looks from others made feel isolated.

In a room full of aspiring ninja with one common goal, I felt alone. There was only me and my memories.


	4. Unholy Confessions

I'm a little desperate for any comments or opinions. It's driving me crazy. If you like Bittersweet Memories, let me know. If you hate the story, let me know. Any criticism, let me know. It doesn't matter if it is harsh, I asked for it. I'll take it and hopefully learn from it.

Oh, little contest: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

Two Iruka's stood facing each other. One with a fierce glare, hands on the hip, a slight frown. The other stood, weary, one hand loosely running through his hair.

The first one broke the tension-filled silence, "I've done everything. Clones, transformation, chakra control, what else do you want?"

"I want an answer. Roran, you are a medical mystery. The chakra network around your lungs is destroyed. How are you able to perfectly perform jutsus with half a network?" This Iruka's hand fell from his hair and into a questioning gesture. His face held disbelief and wonder.

The other formed a release seal. Poofs of smoke clouded around me.

"I don't know, Sensei. I don't focus on the past." I hated the past. Every little detail about it. The stupidity of people before me, the wars, the alliances. My bad past made me hate anything dealing with what once was. It seemed logical in my mind.

Iruka's warm eyes met my blue ones. "Tomorrow you are allowed to take the final. Are you ready to do this?"

I laughed. I have been dreaming of becoming a ninja for a long time. I was ready to take this leap and guard my home with my life. God dammit, I was going to make of my life and prove I can do what others say I can't!

"Are you ready? Is my dad ready? I'm ready but everyone else who worries needs to let go some. I'm not a toddler anymore. I'm not in his care anymore." I spoke, letting my emotions power my words.

"He isn't the village anymore. Roran, you need to show us your memories and allow us to see what Oroch—"

My hands flew to my ears, struggling to block out any unwanted sound. "Not the name. I don't want to remember."

I took steps backward, shaking my head. Wisps of red curls dancing in my line of vision.

"I understand it's painful." He tried to comfort me holding out one hand.

"I'm not ready to face it." I weakly countered bumping into a desk.

Iruka kept his distance, hand still outstretched. "How can you be ready to face death, blood, responsibility, and danger but not your past?"

_Touché. _I shook my head once more. I dropped my hands to sides and ignored Iruka's. My mouth opened and closed while my mind strained to muster an answer. My eyes swept to the clock then to the door. Iruka noticed my movements, sighed, then said, "You can go now. Also, you can take the final."

I nodded ignoring traces of the previous talk. I walked quickly, stumbling every once and awhile.

"I'm sorry, Roran." He sounded sincere. I paused at the doorway and glanced over my shoulder. He was sitting at his desk reviewing from his clipboard. Despite the sincerity, I wouldn't accept it. I don't deserve pity.

I ran like I always did. I admit it. I run from my problems. I'll do anything to put distance between the past and myself. One day I'll woman up and face them all.

I'm not sure when that day will be though. I guess only time will tell.


	5. Chemistry Set

Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I was on an all day date with my boyfriend. To make up for it, I will attempt to update as many times as I can. I don't know how many that will be; I have an indoor soccer game at 2, so I'll be working around that.

Reviews, comments, opinions are welcome. Message me, AIM me, hell even skype me if you want. Just tell me what you think. Do I need a broader word bank? Is the sentence structure confusing or awkward? Do I need to describe things more or be straight to the point?

Contest still in place: Oh, little contest: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

Running is one of the most exhilarating activities. Especially through busy places, like Konoha's bustling streets. Faces blurred past me while snips of conversation passed my ears. I weaved through everyone trying to make avoid physical contact.

I was doing good so far. My heart beat rose slightly, no sweat forming, breathing a little over normal.

I grinned, picking up my pace from a jog to a sprint. Wind whirled all around me, colors of Konoha mixed together. Blues, oranges, greens, browns, pinks, purples. It was I feeling a couldn't explain. The rush of air, watching the world whirl and blend all around you, it all cleared your mind and every worry or problem melted away.

I stumbled as the landscape changed from dirt roads to soft, lush grass. Slowly, I came to a halt. The air stilled as I stood, my hair ceased motion and my bangs fell over blue eyes. I sucked in a breath of fresh air trying to still the rapid increase of heart-beat and breathing.

My legs folded as I sat down, not very gracefully. I placed my arms behind me for comfort. Looking up at the fair blue sky, I immersed my in the clouds.

_That one looks like Akamaru!_ I giggled softly, enjoying all the shapes I was finding.

An easy-going wind caressed my face, ruffled my bangs, and mingled with the few loose red curls peeping from underneath my black beanie. Clouds tumbled over-head blocking the sun from view. Blades of grass jumped on my black shirt adding splashes of color while my green shorts intermingled with the soft bedding of grass.

I lifted my face more, closing my eyes. A harder wind flew by stealing my hat. My eyes opened curiously. My hat danced with the wind, falling and soaring around. I watched as it danced yards away. I wanted to run after it but I was too lazy. I felt content to sit and watch the world all around me.

My head titled to the side as a lazy hand reached up and grabbed my hat. I was into my surroundings and failed to notice another person.

A light blushed slowly formed as he sat stretching out one leg while the other was drawn to his chest. On hand held my hat loosely while the other rested on his knee.

_Of all the people in this place…_ I thought blinking slowly.

His head turned meeting my gaze. He glanced down to the hat in his hand then to the empty space on my head where it once occupied. A smirk formed and he nodded his head in a 'come here' gesture.

_It had to be you, Shikamaru._

Another wind breezed by, ruffling his pale green jacket revealing a mesh shirt underneath. His dark hair was in his signature up do but stray strands hung in his face.

I sighed trying to banish my blush. I stood dusting off my clothes and gathered myself before walking over to lazy boy who captivated me.

My feet halted a few steps from him.

"Missing something?" Shikamaru spoke, his eyes holding mine. His tone was light and teasing.

My mind fumbled for a reply and I muttered some incoherent stutterings.

His smirk grew at my fumbles. With his free hand, he patted the ground beside him.

"Take a seat." He offered.

I was completely blank. I didn't know he knew I existed. I was just another face in the crowd. But now, he was offering me a spot beside him. Despite my will, my face reddened slightly.

I sat scrunching my knees to my chest and drawing my arms around them.

We sat in silence for a moment.

It's funny how you can easily banish feelings for someone and the next time he looks at you, the breath you were breathing gets caught in your throat while your heart pounds inside you. I just can't help but think why…

Shikamaru reached over lazily and laid my hat over my arms. His hand brushed mine.

_Why am I feeling this way?_


	6. A Place Where You Belong

Here you go, another nice update. Sorry if things are dragging out slowly. Things will start picking up hopefully around this chapter. I already have the ending of this whole story in my head. It can either end completely or have a sequel which you guys will be the decider of that. So tell me what you think :D

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

"…and that's how I got this!" Naruto exclaimed one hand reaching up to touch the cold metal of his headband.

I was sitting in an empty classwork listening to Naruto's story. I was entranced. I knew it was true by reading the emotion in his voice. Also by the fact he allowed me to see his memory.

I guess that is when my bloodline comes in handy: verifying truths and finding lies.

"Sasuke-kun~" squealed Sakura interrupting my conversation and thoughts. I glanced her way. She sat a desk away from her 'love' hands twirling her soft pink hair around her fingers.

The 'love' in question sat silently brooding near a window, hands twined together.

I turned back to Naruto. He was looking at his prank for his future sensei: a dirty chalkboard eraser above a slightly open door. The reasoning behind this? He is late.

I shifted my legs stretching out. _I wonder if it's pa…._

All the other teams had gone and awkwardly gathered for introductions. First impressions were already made.

Three-men teams. Not four.

"I wish you could be on our team, Rory-chan." Naruto muttered, glaring at Sasuke. I smiled at mention of my childhood nickname.

My reply was cut short by the door sliding open to reveal a wise face veiled by a blue mask and spiky gray I was very familiar with. All three teammates moved to the front and stood together.

Naruto's trick worked perfectly despite Sasuke's doubts. The eraser fell almost in slow motion, a huge grin slowly forming on Naruto's face, Sasuke's remaining impassive with an practically unnoticeable eye brow raise, and Sakura's face half showing horror, the other delight.

_What a great first impression. _I thought watching Kakashi's face. A dead-pan expression was firmly rooted accompanied with a hint of slight annoyance.

Kakashi moved more through the door dusting off his hair. He closed his eyes indicating a grin. One hand moved to his masked face thoughtfully rubbing his chin.

"Hmm… how can I say this? I don't like you guys."

All three genin faces fell into shock. I couldn't help myself. Laughter was bubbling up in my throat. I placed a gloved hand over my mouth to hide stray giggles.

My father's face turned my way and sent a heart-warming smile my way before leading his out for bonding.

_He'll do a good job with them. _I thought while imagining future scenarios of the three in my head.

I was alone again. I plopped in a chair and leaned it back propping my feet on the desk.

Thoughts of my unknown sensei flooded my mind. Will it be a guy? Or a woman? Impassive? Energetic? Rough and tough?

I couldn't form a picture of who I thought it would be. I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

A soft knock and the door sliding open jolted me from my thoughts. I scrambled to a more humble sitting position. A figure draped in white and red robes floated in the classroom along with a graceful woman with short brown hair.

I stood, bowing slightly. "Hokage-sama." I greeted.

"No need for formalities, Rory-chan." He returned, his eyes sparkling. His smile was smile and reached up to his eyes which had wrinkles from age.

I laughed lightly then turned to the other guest. The Hokage gestured to her. "This is Anzai Emi. A very talented medical ninja and also your new sensei."

I smiled studying her. She had an extremely pretty face with bright green eyes contrasting with her dark brown hair. Her hair framed her face perfectly. A short cropped bob with no bangs. Her headband prevented any hair from hanging in her face. She smiled, lighting up her face. "Hello, Roran. I have heard a lot about you."

"Hopefully all good." I said, keeping the conversation light.

Emi-Sensei nodded, bobbing her short hair. "Yes, now why don't we get to know each other better?" She gestured to the door.

"That would be a wise idea. Roran, Emi was chosen to be your sensei by my decision because of your lungs. She is also very skilled and will help you greatly." The Hokage declared escorting us out of class room.

We walked the streets together until we reached the training field where Hokage-Sama parted.

Emi-Sensei walked me over the middle and sat down. I followed her lead. As I sat, the grass stirred jumping to my fitted black shorts.

"So," she began, "tell me about yourself."

I sighed, shaking my head. I released a soft nervous laugh. One hand fiddled with the edges of my white simple tank top, while the other rubbed my black beanie.

"Where to begin?"

So much about me in such a little time. I hope she can keep up.


	7. It's Just Me

So guys, I appreciate the viewings. And I would love to thank Leoni Liponscovi for writing me a review and also partaking in my contest. She guessed correctly chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the title. Chapter 6 and future chapters are still up for grabs. Leoni's character will begin to make an appearance in the next chapter.

The next couple of days are going to be busy with school, soccer conditioning, an indoor game, and training. I will try to write as much as I can during my free time in school. I hope to have a lot of updates this week.

Oh, little contest: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

Enjoy. (:

* * *

I grunted while blocking an in coming punch, the impact stronger than I had anticipated.

"Nice block." Praised Emi-Sensei, about to throw another punch.

_First day and she isn't even holding back._ I thought growing steadily fatigued.

She had already tried to draw out my bloodline. I couldn't do it, not to someone I just met. I couldn't tap into her memories. What if I got one that brought so much pain and sorrow? I couldn't do it. Not yet.

Another fist came flying, this time glowing faintly with blue chakra. I gritted my teeth and rose my free hand. I caught her fist half way to me.

"So, Roran, nice beanie. Who is it from?"

I blinked, confused. _Where is she going with this?_

I quickly focused chakra to both hands and feet. With a push, we were freed from each other's grip. I jumped back.

Emi-Sensei stood straight from her battle stance, tossing her short hair. Lazily she put a hand on her hip, "Who?"

I used a gloved hand to wipe sweat away from my brow. Sweat began dribbling down my back, sticking to my low ponytail. "A friend." I panted.

"Which friend?" she countered, taking a step closer.

I clenched my fists tightly attempting to stop the coming flow of past memories.

At my silence, she rushed at me, jumped a few feet away with one foot outstretched. The other tucked under her hips.

I ducked, timing her flight, grasped her tucked foot, and slammed her down.

As she hit, a poof of smoke formed. In her place now laid a stump of wood.

Of course, substitution jutsu. I turned blocking an incoming punch.

"An old babysitter." I gasped, swallowing a gulp of air.

She tilted her head curiously, her eyes aware of the rapid rise and fall of my chest.

"Do tell." She replied.

My reply was a swift kick aimed at her head. _Why do you need to know? It's the past. Damn._

She ducked, releasing my fist. With my other leg, I focused a good amount of chakra to. Emi-Sensei noticed forming a block, crossing her two arms in front of her head and chest area.

Lifting it, I spoke, "Uchiha Itachi." She closed her eyes bracing herself. In that moment, I drew power from the memories and brought my foot down in the weak spot of her block.

She soared backwards. I heard a faint gasp of shock. I leaned over, hands on my knees, trying to slow my breathing.

Emi-Sensei thrust her hands in the ground as she almost landed. She flipped and landed gracefully on her feet.

"What power…" she murmured quietly.

She walked over to my exhausted form, put a comforting hand on my shoulder, and leaned down to my eye level. "I already knew he was your babysitter. I had to trick you into getting mad to see how it would effect you battle. Enemies will do this and get you riled up. Thankfully you keep your mind in tact. You just give more powerful punches."

I straightened up and grinned lightly. "It's okay. You had to figure out."

She patted my shoulder in a comforting manner. "Good job today. Meet me tomorrow in the hospital lobby at ten o' clock. We need to build up those lungs of yours."

I groaned in response, jokingly of course. She laughed and poofed away, probably to report to someone.

I shoved my hands into my pockets, glancing at my dust and sweat soiled clothes. Slowly, I began a trip home.

My feet shuffled slowly across the streets. The traffic flow has died down, thankfully not much to weave about.

Half-way through my trudge, a sweet aroma graced my nose. The sweet smell of ramen drifted around me dancing, teasing me. My stomach growled hungrily, causing a few villagers to stare. I giggled nervously shrugging it off and sprinted home, hungry for a nice dinner.

I skidded into a stop at a normal sized house. Three bedrooms, two and half bath, kitchen, and a living room. My new home. A note on the door alerted me that my father already moved what belongings I had into my new room.

_Aw, how sweet._ I thought quickly running into the kitchen. I stopped short at another note laying on the table.

"Rory, I'm sorry but I am have a meeting and will not be here for dinner. I left money so you can go out and buy something. I'll be home before bedtime. Love, dad." I read to myself, scooping up the money.

I started down the main hall to the door but halted in front of a mirror. "Ew, I look gross. I guess I can shower before I go."

Exploring the upstairs, I found my room. It was painted white, a large bay window with blue curtains draped over it, a vanity, dressers, a closet, and a huge bed. Black cover with grey flannel sheets with a yellow blanket. My favorite color is yellow! Good dad. Grinning, I grabbed a black hoodie and a pair of red short shorts. Clothes in hand, I opened the door adjacent to my closet. I shut the door, turned on the light and began a nice warm shower.

Awhile later, I emerged freshly cleaned. I glanced at the mirror, "My hair will curl as it dries."

I stuffed the money into my hoodie pocket and ran out of the door all the to the Ichiraku Ramen Stand. I sat in my usual seat, directly in the middle of the stand.

"Well, hello there, Roran." The kind old man greeted, waving his cooking utensils.

"Hey," I smiled, "I'll have the usual!"

He turned around, finishing and beginning meals. He added spices to batches causing the air to become loaded with a smell only Naruto and I can find sweet.

My mouth filled with drool and I grasped my chopsticks tightly. I was so hungry, I really worked up an appetite. _Training will only get harder as time goes on_, I thought rolling my shoulders.

As soon as that ramen bowl touched the counter, I dived into it. I slurped my noodles enjoying the taste. My stomach grumbled giving thanks. I jumped as I felt a tap on my shoulder but relaxed as I heard the ruffle of a chip bag.

I turned in my seat to right, greeting Chouji. "Hey, Chouji," I inhaled more noodles, "what's up?"

He grinned, closing both eyes while his hand found its way into the open bag of chips. "Just saying hey, oh and I like your hair. It's curly today."

I smiled in response, "Aw, thank you. How was meeting your new sensei?"

Chouji looked over my shoulder. I started to turn when he put his hand on mine. "Oh, Asuma-Sensei is really cool. He smokes a lot. But he offered to take us out for barbeque after missions!" He said, darting glances over my shoulder. Satisfied with something, he smiled causing the red swirls on his cheeks to shine.

_Is he trying to distract me from something?_ I devoured the rest of my bowl. "Oh, that's awesome! I had a work-out today but it will all get better."

Chouji squeezed my hand, "I believe in you." And with that, he turned away eating the rest of his chips.

I turned slowly to the front muttering, "What a sweet guy."

"Oi, how much Teuchi-san?" I asked waving my chopsticks in the air.

He handed me another bowl and smiled wide. "No need. Already paid for?"

"Nani?" I exclaimed. I only asked for one bowl, get another one, and not pay? What? I placed my chopsticks in the new bowl, which was simmering with deliciousness. My mouth watered looking at it.

Teuchi looked around at the customers, still grinning. He slowly leaned over and whispered, "It was already paid for when you were talking with the Akimichi boy."

Nodding, I began to slurp more ramen into my system. "By who?" I asked, a mouth fll of noodles. Cute, I know.

He giggled, covering his mouth. "He paid for your meal and another bowl. That Nara boy."

My mouth dropped, my grip loosened causing my chopsticks to drop, my face immediately turned red. I recovered and gulped.

Slowly, I looked around behind me.

Nothing but shadows.


	8. Fiction

I am so sorry that this update is late. I have been so swamped lately. Oh dear, it was no fun. Two papers due this week, soccer conditioning every day, no sleep.

However, this is an extremely longish chapter and I am planning to begin the next update tonight. And I will have around two or three tomorrow. Yay for weekends.

I have so many plans for this story, and I have two endings in mind. One for a sequel, one for the absolute end. It depends on if my lovely readers (you) want a sequel.

Leoni Liponscovi guessed correctly chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and the title. Chapter 6 and future chapters are still up for grabs. Leoni's character was supposed to make an appearance this chapter, but I only got in a name mentioned (Kayuga Selquora). Her character will be importance in the story, especially towards the end.

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

Remember chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and title have already been guessed.

* * *

My black shoes padded down the narrow hallways. The bright fluorescent lights glared down at passerbys and highlighted the walls in an ugly way. I paused and shuddered slightly, counting the closed patient doors throughout the hall.

Emi-Sensei sensed my stop and turned. "What's wrong?" She asked curiously, her arched eyebrows rising higher.

I drew my eyes from Room 537, my old in-patient room, and meet her piercing green eyes. "I've lived a lot of my life here and I don't want to be back." Shrugging my shoulders and sighing lightly, I jogged a few steps to catch up to my sensei.

Emi raised one hand and ran it through her hair. She watched me for a little bit before resuming our walk. "It's understandable." She agreed.

We continued walking in light silence, the only sound was our feet. I kept my head down, not wanting to see the suffering or longing of other in-patients. I could practically feel the jealous glares on my back. I fixated my eyes on the white and light green tiled floor.

_Just count the tiles._ I thought. _Focus on something else._

And that's what I did. I counted and counted until I lost track. Then I started playing games. Step every two tiles, now every four, walk on only the light green ones, walk like a zombie with out my arms sticking out. I stopped when I noticed the odd looks from Emi-Sensei. I stuck out my tongue and raised one hand to scratch the back of my head.

"Do you wear that beanie everyday?" She teased lightly, trying to steal it.

"Yes!" I exclaimed, warding off her hands.

She stopped now intrigued, "Why? You hate anything dealing with the past. This," she gestured to my head, " is apart of your past."

I froze. _She is true._ I don't know, it's just complicated. I spoke slowly, "There are some things of my past I have come to terms with and others I have not."

Emi-Sensei tapped her lightly, looking at ceiling. "So, you have accepted what Itachi did."

I hesitated slightly and huffed. "There must have been a reason why he did what he did. And I plan on figuring it out."

She 'hmmmed' quietly to herself, scanning me over. Finally she spoke, "Good answer. And here we are!" She opened her arms wide and gestured a huge metallic door in front of us.

Our conversation distracted me from the walk. "Sweet." I said as she punched in a small code that opened the door.

The door was hiding a huge room. It was filled with various exercise equipment and health monitors with sensors all around. The walls were a warm light crème color. Not white, which is good for me. Directly opposite of the door, across the expansive floor, held the most beautiful view. The whole wall was made up bay windows covering the ceiling to the floor, exposing the green trees and the withered stone faces of our leaders.

"This is where we will be building up your lungs." She dragged me to a treadmill close to the windows. "We'll hook you up to the monitor with the sensors so it can display your heart-rate and all that fun stuff."

I looked cautiously at the monitors. "Where will the sensors be placed?"

"Right now, we are the only ones in here, so you'll have to remove your shirt. That's why I asked you to wear a loose tunic shirt today. It will go above the exposed area of your sports bra and on your abdomen. Alright? Now let's go! Oh, don't get all self-conscious!" She scolded, noticing my face pinken.

Nodding, I removed my pastel green tunic with a medium blue line running down the seams. Throwing it off, I stepped onto the treadmill feeling very underdressed. What was left is on me was a pair medium blue skinny shorts ending above my knees around mid thigh and grey sports bra. I wasn't comfortable with my body yet; I mean, I am still developing some. My hair was in a low ponytail trailing half the length of my back, it was about Sakura's length or shorter. Long hair is gorgeous but I don't know if I can ever get it Ino's length.

Emi-Sensei turned on the screen and attached the sensors to me. Immediately, all my health information was displayed in front of me. "Are you ready?" She asked, checking my vitals. At my nod, she set the speed on the treadmill. "Go as long as you can. When you can't go longer, push this red button." I nodded again concentrating of the sound of my feet hitting the treadmill.

Usually when I run, I focus on the world around me but now there is nothing to focus on. I paced my breathing, inhaling through my nose. I decided to let my thoughts roam. _Maybe now, just maybe, I can make little steps to get over the past. _

Memories took over my mind, my body still in action mode. I thought of Itachi and Sasuke, the games we used to play like hide-and-seek, pretending being ninja until their mom called us in for dinner. I remembered the sadness and anger emitting from Sasuke after the murders. His once bright eyes now cold and his sweet smile banished from his face. He withdrew from me. I gave him space, not tampering with his memories. Eventually he came back, different than the boy I call my childhood friend. I was his rock. I was the unchanging friend, always there for him. Even with his new attitude, he still confided in me.

The memories shifted to small, tan spiky blonde. His eyes closed, smile wide with laughter tumbling out. We were Ichiraku after a prank on the gate guards. Our plan extremely successful.

Another shift. My tenth birthday. Kakashi gone on a mission, however he left me a gift: A set of senbon engraved with my initials. I was walking the streets missing my father when Kiba pulled me aside. He dragged me to his place shouting, "Happy birthday!" over and over. At his house, he gave me a stuffed dog plushie. His mom told me to stay all day and play with the newborn pups. That is just what I did.

The next shift. A replaying of Shikamaru and I in the grassy field. Him catching my hat, his hand brushing mine….

I jolted back to my senses, breathing heavily. My eyes found their way at the timer. _Holy cow, I've been going for forty minutes straight!_

Slightly fatigued, I pushed the red button. The treadmill slowly came to halt and once it did, I bent over putting my hands on my knees sucking in gulps of air.

I felt a hand on my back, "You were doing great until that last few minutes. It was like your mind was blank and your body going through the motions. What happened?" Emi-Sensei asked softly, praising me a little.

"Memories," I gasped, "I was reliving some to help me get over the past."

Her hand left my back and I straightened up, resting my hands on my head to expand my lungs.

"I'm glad you did that, it helps me out some with what was next. I am so proud of the progress you are making." She said, handing me a water, towel, and my shirt.

I sipped the water, careful not to drink too much, and used to the towel to wipe of sweat. Then I shrugged on my tunic top.

"Come on, I need to talk to you about something." She lead me outside the whole building.

The rush of fresh air rejuvenated my skin. I lifted my head, enjoying the breeze.

Emi-Sensei brought me to bench outside the Konoha Military Police Corps. Headquarters. She sat and I followed suit.

"Roran, there is no easy way to say this. The types of missions you will be going on are different than the other genin. You are the only person who can do these missions." She sighed, bring one hand to her hair. "The missions I am training you for are missions only people with your bloodline can do. Your clan, not the Hatake clan, did these missions before you. Now it is your turn. I, along with several instructors, will train you. Yamanaka Inoichi will train your mind and memory, Nara Shikaka will help you with being invisible, I will help with fitness and your jutsus, and Kaguya Selquora will train you in summons. I expect you to treat each of them with the utmost respect. Are you ready to meet them?"

She patted me on the back. What she has just told me was a lot of information to digest. Part of it was a reference to my clan. Just who are they? I've tried to search for information about them but failed.

I gulped, pushing my bangs out of my face. _Would I be able to handle this?_


	9. Afterlife

This update is information packed, holy cow. It was fun to write though (:

Oh, congrats to Shadowfang Girl for correctly guessing Chapter 8's band. That leaves chapters 6, 7 and this one! The first contest winner, Leoni Liponscovi, has her character introduced in this character. She is an important character and helps move along the story line.

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

"There is no need to bow to me, Roran." A deep voice said. I straightened, blushing slightly. My blue eyes met an almost exact pair, except darker. "Gomen, Yamanaka-san."

Inoichi, sighed, muttering, "So polite, why can't Ino…"

Emi-Sensei stepped in, saving the both of us from the oncoming awkwardness. "I assume you know who this is, you are friends with his daughter."

I nodded and grinned. I have helped volunteer at the Yamanaka Flower Shop on occasion. The delicate aroma paired with the explosion of colors was the perfect environment in my opinion.

"Alright, I'll leave you in his hands now. Don't worry, I'll check in with you later." Her gloved hand ruffled my head. Emi turned heel and walked away.

Inoichi wasted no time explaining in-depth the importance of the mind. "Now the mind is the aspect of intellect and consciousness experienced as combinations of thought, perception, memory, emotion, will, and imagination, including all unconscious cognitive processes. The great thing about your bloodline is your unique ability to memorize information through speech, sight or reading. As I am telling you this, your bloodline has already processed this information. There are two clans in the Fire Country who possess techniques to break the mind: the Yamanaka Clan and the Kioku Clan. These two clans are actually related. They separated once the different aspects of power became apparent. My clan focuses on taking over the mind through will and thought. Your clan's name is Kioku, which means memory. You take over the perception, memory, emotion and imagination."

I could feel my skin pale. Cold sweat broke out across my forehead; I gulped.

He stopped his lecture noticing a difference in my being. A kind, sincere smile took over his face. "I understand this is a lot to take in but it is needed. I believe in you, as a distant family member. Our similarities lie in our jutsus and our eyes; Mine being half a shade darker. Yours also have white accents, signifying the memory." His hand rested on my shoulder in a comforting member.

A wave of emotions splashed over me. Happiness for having a clan, acceptance for being a part of something, doubt in my personal abilities and insecurities, and worry constantly nagging me on if I was able to do this. Each emotion I felt, the polar opposite was also present.

"Today we are going to work on accessing a person's memory. I am aware that you usually ask for permission, this is great for friends but not for missions. Missions should not require permission. First I'll allow you to access my memories from yesterday. If you succeed, I'll put up guards protecting my mind and you have to try to break them down. Are you ready? Let's begin."

He stood tall before me, arms crossed, eyes watching my every move.

I met his gaze evenly, focusing a small amount of power towards my mind. Tentatively my conscious spread forward, examining the surroundings before launching into Inoichi's mind.

Memories of yesterday's events flashed through my mind along with the emotion that accompanied it. The main memory was Ino meeting with her sensei with a great sense of pride.

Suddenly I was thrust from his mind, an enormous mental block stood protecting his mind.

"Good. Now try again, this time with a guard. This will greatly fatigue your mind."

He spoke, his eyes still measuring my abilities.

I closed my eyes, focusing a larger amount of chakra in my mind. I pushed my conscious forward carefully.

My mind stood before the mental block once more. I pushed lightly. Nothing.

Harder and harder I pushed, achieving nothing. I pulled away from his mind and back into my own. My shoulders slumped. He was right; my mind was steadily growing fatigued tricking my body to think I was tired. I met his gaze thinking of how I can beat the block.

My eyes widened, _There is a weak spot for everything. Find that weak spot._

I entered his mind again. My conscious circumcised the length of his block. Never-ending. I pushed and poked the wall examining for any weak spots. Finally I drew power from a memory. Emi-Sensei ducking with both her arms in a cross block, ready to ward off my incoming kick. The power from the memory allowed my fist to glow with yellow chakra. I stared at it curiously before reeling it back. With a steady hand, I punched the block dead center. The impact of my punch, shattered the block making it crumble into pieces. Memories flooded my vision. Hurriedly, I withdrew from his band and back to the sanctuary of my own.

My mind was exhausted. My thoughts were processing slowly. If I spoke, my sentences would form at a sluggish pace.

I blinked owlishly, attempting to shrug the tiredness off. Noticing this, Inoichi laughed and said, "I see you are experiencing the fatigue. Great job, though. You figured out how to break the block quickly. Keep that memory and use it every time. Highlight different aspects of it depending on your situation, it will help solve the block in no time."

I smiled at his praise and my progress.

"Come on, my time with you is up for the day. I'll take you to Shikaku." With that, he put both of his hands on my shoulders and steered me forward. The fatigue caused me to stumble slightly but his grip prevented me from falling.

He lead down dark corridors with winding turns until we finally ended up at a lone door. "Go through the door and you'll be there. I am leaving you here and reporting to Emi. Good luck, kid." He patted my head, leaving me alone beside the door.

His words took time to sink in from my mental tiredness. Once the got through, I gathered myself and opened the door. I was greeted to a spacious black painted room with large bright overhead lights. Nara Shikaku sat at a table nearby, feet propped up on the surface. His head turned at the sound of my footsteps. I was taken aback by his appearance. Shikamaru resembled him perfectly: Long dark hair pulled back, black smoldering eyes, and a lazy expression. I smiled, banishing thoughts of the Nara boy from my mind.

"Come, sit." Shikaku gestured to seat across from him. As I walked closer to the table, I noticed a Shougi board laying untouched, ready to be played. He spoke as I sat, "Let's make small talk and play some Shougi. It will help with your mental fatigue. You can make the first move when ready."

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table. I stretched my mind, planning out a series of moves to ensure my victory. Shikaku watched me, a slight hint of recognition in his eyes.

I made my move. He thought, then made his. For a time, the only sound was the dull _clink_ of pieces being moved and placed. He noticed his losing early on and spoke trying to throw me off, "So my son bought you dinner the other night."

His plan worked. My thought process immediately halted and my face turned a delicate shade of pink. My hand slipped placing a piece in the wrong place. I glanced up, noticing a small smirk on his face touching his scar. I breathed in a rush of air, my mind recalculating Shougi moves. I answered, "I, uh…. Yes."

Shikaku nodded. "You like him?"

_Is now really the time for this! Of course I don't, I mean do. No wait, no. Yes. _I screamed internally, silencing my battle.

His tone was sly and curious. My cheeks deepened in color. Obviously flustered, I muttered random things. He chuckled, making a move.

I countered, executing a winning move.

Shikaku stood and walked to an empty spot of the room. I followed, trying to return my thoughts and skin color to normal.

"On your missions, you need to be stealthy. You already know basic hiding techniques but today I am going to teach you an invisibility jutsu. With this, you will be hidden from sight, including from special bloodlines like the Byakugan and Sharingan. This is a shadow technique so my family will be able to see you with focusing. "

I stood opposite of him soaking in the information I was being told. He put his hands together and weaved a quick progression of hand signs. Instantly he disappeared, his body fading into the background. My mouth dropped slightly in surprise, and I uttered, "Cool."

He materialized before me. "Your turn."

I nodded and focused. I put my hands into the seals, feeling the power course through my network. My hands formed the seals perfectly. Suddenly I felt lighter.

_Did it work?_

I looked up at Shikaku and my answer came in his expression. I did it! Still unseen, I jumped up and down then stopped surprised my movements didn't make a sound. _Must be a part of the jutsu._ I grinned triumphantly and formed a seal.

Back in sight, Shikaku nodded approvingly. "Good job, I'm glad you noticed your celebrating didn't cause sound. It's a pro of the jutsu, along with the feeling of lightness. You have one more task for the day, not with me though. You can eat lunch here with me, but I won't buy you it like my son." He added the end, with a small teasing tone.

"Your bento is here with me, it was dropped off earlier by your dad. I'm sure your starving."

I realized I was. Being focused on the tasks at hand, I failed to notice the toll on my body. My mind was worn out from earlier and my body sore feeling the mental effects. Shikaku handed me my bento and within seconds it was gone. I literally inhaled it all. Chopsticks in hand, he gave me directions to my next instructor.

I walked slowly back down the halls, ignoring the moans and groans of my muscles. Thankfully I didn't have far to walk. I opened a tall white door, my eyes adjusting to the sudden color change. The room was painted a light lavender, far different than the black I just came from.

A girl, around the age of sixteen, was in the middle of room dancing to her ipod with her eyes closed. A variety of lions and lizards were scattered around the room, eyes fixed on me. Ignoring them, I studied the dancing girl. She was gorgeous, to put simply. Her skin was beautifully tan, signifying her love of outdoors. The tan complimented her hair in a wonderous way. Her hair was shoulder-length and swaying to her beat. The light blue hues darkened towards the tips; highlights of purple could also be seen. She was wearing a rich forest green tank top with different blue flower patterns along with the same color green shorts. Her tye-dye flip flops shuffled across the floor.

Finally she noticed me, her blue-green gaze meeting my sky blue. She turned down her ipod and walked towards me. She grinned, "Hiya! I'm Kayuga Selquora and I'll be teaching you about summons."

I was overwhelmed by her energy. I mumbled a weak, "hey."

She giggled and continued, gesturing her arms to the animals, "These are a few of my summons."

Selquora grabbed my arm and dragged me deeper into the room. "Your father said you will inherit the nin dogs. But first how much do you know?"

I smiled nervously, "Not much."

She smiled and launched into an explaination, "A powerful jutsu, Ninpo Kuchiyose allows a ninja to summon animals, objects and the dead to fight on their behalf. The ninja normally signs a blood contract with the animal species, which allows them to summon different size and skill levels of creature. The ability to summon more advanced animals largely depends upon the amount of chakra the ninja can muster to perform the jutsu. By signing this contract, the creatures themselves can also reverse summon the contract signer to their location. To summon the creature the ninja will wipe blood on the hand, perform the necessary handseals and then touch their hand to the ground or another object. Though it appears that as long as significant pressure is placed against the blood in some form, the summon will be complete. There can be variations to the summoning steps."

My nodded, bouncing around my bangs, which settled in my face. I brought up a tired hand to move them.

"I have your contract here. Today you will only sign it. The next time we meet, we will try summoning. Your mental fatigue is too great to try a powerful jutsu like this."

I nodded, my eyes slowly drooping.

Tiredly, I thought, _What am I getting myself into?_


	10. Crush, Crush, Crush

So I think you guys deserve a cute, Shika-filled update. I realize he hasn't been mentioned a lot, but he is important to the story. Shadowfan Girl guessed chapter 8's band correctly, her character is going to be introduced in my next chapter. Speaking of, it will be action packed. Whoo! Leoni Liponscovi's character has already been introduced and will be seen through the story a lot.

Chapters 6,7,9 and this one are still up for guessing.

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

_Tired: adjective, exhausted, as by exertion. Also meaning fatigued or sleepy. _My mental dictionary whirled as a tornado in my mind.

_I'm more than tired. What's the word? _Synonyms were picked from the depths and were cycling in a rapid motion. _Oh, yes, lethargic._ Then the calm. All blank, no thoughts.

My shoulders were slumped and my feet were barely picking up off the ground. My mental fatigue was so great, my mind was temporarily reduced to the capacity of a five year old.

As I trudged home, people of the night hurriedly rushed around trying to get home. Lights bobbed with the breeze, glowing faintly across the deep backdrop of the night. I stumbled, almost falling. My mouth opened into a huge yawn bring tears to my eyes. Everything begin to fade and blur together all around me. Just one huge blur of color and activity. I began walking, eyes closed, feet shuffling.

A couple of inches later, I paused again, unable to go on. I yawned again and began to feel a rush of air along with lightness. I was falling forward. My already closed eyes squeezed together while my hair danced with the wind. I internally braced myself for the damp cold ground, the sound of my body drumming against the ground.

I awaited the '_thunk_' but received a soft, dull '_thud.' _Instead of the cold, I felt a surge of warmth. Someone had caught me, piggy-back style. I nuzzled into my rescuer, breathing in his scent: A subtle mixture of sweat, the woods, mint freshness, and a hint of smoke. It was strangely familiar. He began carrying, the steps causing his hair to brush across my face.

My eyes widened in shock as a warm blush spread across my cheeks. In attempt to hide, I buried my face into his neck. "Shika~" I mumbled tired drawing out the last syllable. A short, "Hn," was the only reply.

Shikamaru continued carrying me in silence. I nuzzled deeper against his neck and back, feeling the warmth of his body. The closeness of our bodies allowed me to feel the beat of his heart. A little above average. Sighing, I paced my breathing, matching mine to his. I focused on this, making me feel closer to him on a different level.

"Shika, do you like me?"

The question caught both of us off guard. His grip on me tightened and he hesitated. It just blurted out; the fatigue caused thoughts to be spoken. Once again, I felt I had the intelligence of a five year old. This time, a love-struck five year.

He walked on in silence. I mentally cursed myself before focusing on the sounds of the night. Shikamaru's footsteps, breathing, heartbeat, the way his hair '_swooshed_' in the wind.

I shifted my gaze to what I could see of him: the left side of his face. His profile was so stunning in the moonlight. The backlight of stars emphasized his features, pulling out brightness in the shadows. Then before I realized it, we had arrived at my house.

Shikamaru shifted, standing me upright. He stared deep into my eyes curiously. I evenly gazed back, trying to read the emotion in his charcoal orbs. A wave of tiredness crashed over, making me avert gazes. His hand reached out, ready to knock on the door.

I shook my head, unable to contain my thoughts. He knocked, three times, a short light rap against the door. Footsteps were heard from the other side.

I continued my blurting from earlier, "Cause I li…like you."

Shikamaru gulped, looking at me. His hand reached up, caressing my cheek. Faintly, he mumbled, "I know you do. You…, you're," His words faltered, vanishing into nothingness.

The door creaked opened, drawing Shikamaru's hand from my cheek. He shoved his hand in his pockets, returning to his lazy demeanor.

"Troublesome."

My body crashed, my mentality reaching it's limits. I fell forward again, eyes closed. This time, I was caught by my father. Kakashi nodded to Shikamru, who then turned and began walking away. I peered at him through half-lidded eyes. He withdrew one hand from his pockets and lifted it up in a parting wave.

Using the last of my strength, I pushed my consciousness into his, reading his thoughts.

_If I'm the shadow, then you are my light. Shadows need light to live. _


	11. Tension

I realize it has been awhile since my last update, I have been swamped with soccer and school the past couple of days. I don't know when updates are to come, but every chance I get, I will be writing something for this story. I so sorry

All information is from , just so you know.

Shadowfang Girl and Leoni Liponscovi are awesome. Because they have guessed my chapter bands. The characters are mentioned in this chapter, but will be fully detailed in the next chapter, which will be the first mission! Yay!

Chapters 6,7,9,10, and this one are still up for guessing.

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

I could feel my breath escape in a quiet rush as I followed Emi-Sensei to the hidden Hall of Records. Every little piece of information lies hidden within thousands of books, the past, the present, and prophesies of the future. I broke out in cold sweat, matching the frigid atmosphere. I breathed in a rush of air trying to still my increasing heartbeat. The air was incredibly stale, filled with old scrolls and books.

_And it is up to me to memorize every little drop of wisdom in this fountain. _I thought, comparing the library to foundation for a better mental picture.

How could I possibly focus at the task at hand, when my thoughts are wandering away to something else? …Someone else.

_What did he mean when he said that?_

My jaw dropped at the sight before me, all previous thoughts banished from the mind. I gazed in silence at the monumental bookshelves, located in vast abundance in the Hall. "There must be thousands of secrets upon secrets in here." I exclaimed.

Emi-Sensei chuckled and replied, "Yes. Lucky for us, your memory will remember each and every one. Whatever secret you learn, will immediately pop up when in the correct situation. Like if you were in a battle against a shinobi, your memory will bring up information about the said ninja. Alright, get started, I'll collect you at lunch time."

I watched her leave, feeling a sense of complete isolation. Sighing, I walked up to the first bookcase, removed a number of scrolls and began my memorization.

"The Fire country is marked by forests, helping to give rise to its ninja village "hiding in its leaves". The Fire Country is one of the largest ninja countries in the world, sharing borders with more countries than any other. It borders Grass, Rain, Waterfall, Sound, River, Tea and several unnamed countries. The Fire Country is home to many cities, including Konohagakue no Sato, Tanzaku Gai, Otafuku Gai, Otakame Sato and Tokkuriji."

I inhaled a swarm dust causing my eyes to water and my nose to tickle. This is going to be a long day.

Time passed slowly, liking an hourglass full of sand slowly trickling down to the bottom. I read scroll after scroll: clan biographies, secret techniques, random jutsus, summonings and animal familiars, seal guides, blood inheritances, demons, weapons, past battles, past mission assignments.

I sighed, breathing in the musty air and letting it go, and leaned back on the bookcase behind me. My eyes stared blearily at the scroll held tightly in my hands. It was a prophecy. A child of prophecy set by one of the Legendary Sannin. I read it, not physically processing the words, only mentally storing it for later use. I closed it, recognizing an incoming soreness. My neck hurt, my back hurt, my eyes hurt. All the hunching over, squinting at the scrolls, and uncomfortable floor was not a something I enjoyed doing.

Lazily I reached up, placing the scroll to its original position and plucking another one. I unwrapped the green band signifying a person's biography.

My breath hitched my throat. A blush formed, spreading across my cheeks. Unable to breathe, I swallowed gasps of air. Exhaling and coughing dust, I muttered, "Nara Shikamaru."

A small picture of Shikamaru's face gazed at me, words of his being waiting to be read.

My ears suddenly perked at the faint sound of approaching footsteps. I stared blankly ahead, wanting my skin to return to normal. The footsteps grew closer, my face still betrayed my previous hard work. I fixated my gaze on a blue book, third shelf, across from me.

A figure walked in front me, blocking my determined stare. A small hand reached down, removing Shikamaru's scroll form my grip. Silence. A soft sigh. Emi squatted, knees making a faint _pop!_ I refused to meet her gaze. If I did, I would break in front of her. She tilted her head, dark locks falling across her face. Her bright green eyes demanded my attention. "You know, I thought you were the only kunoichi who wasn't focused on a boy."

I clenched my fists, unable to speak. I met her eyes, my blues threatening to water.

"Disappointed?" I finally whispered, fear lacing the single word.

She giggled, causing me to look at her curiously. "Of course not. All girls fall for a boy before they fall for her. Use your crush on Shikamaru during battles for power. You can try this in a mission I am assigning you. You will leave in two days with myself, Selquora, and Masuyo Suzume. I planned to hold this mission longer, but you have gotten far within the records. Finish by tomorrow in here."

Shock coursed through my veins, along with disbelief. She stood, stretching out a hand. "You wanted to hold the mission. It isn't the usual D-Rank?"

A grin grew on my teacher's face. "This is an A-Rank. Your kind is never assigned low rank missions."

I grabbed her hand, feeling light as she helped me stand. I tittered a little bit from faint exhaustion. _Great, more clan perks._

"Can I just eat lunch in here, so I can get done with this?"

A knowing smile replaced Emi's grin. "Actually you are done for the day. I received a request from someone dealing with you. So go home, eat lunch, shower, and get all nice and pretty." Her tone was sly and teasing.

"Um, I'm not sure what is going on here." I said, utterly confused. I wiped sweat and grime off my hands awaiting a reply.

Emi pulled my hat off, sticking it in her bag. "The Nara family has requested you join them for dinner."

Heat flooded my body, my just dried hands quickly became accompanied with sweat, my eyes widened, my mind empty. Emi's hand reached over and patted my head.

"As your teacher, I want you to be the best. In your class and in love." She grinned looking my flustered form.

"Go get him, tiger."

_Oh dear._


	12. Hometown Heroes National Nobodies

I know there isn't much action with Shikamaru, I wanted to further develop Roran first, but when I add hints of him in the story I want to make it a cute first love kinda theme. Where you are totally head over heels, every action he does sends you into a frenzy of nervousness. So here is some love/cuteness, along with a mission. Whoo! I think I have taken too much time with my character development, so I am going to speed it up. I promise.

Chapters 6,7,9,10,11, and this one are still up for guessing. Shadowfang Girl's character is introduced. Tomorrow I will begin the battle sequence!

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

Love itself is not the feeling but the action associated with the feeling. The feeling is one of happiness that you have finally found someone who appreciates you for who you are. You feel a sense of achievement, fulfilled, grateful. To keep the feeling you must keep loving. Don't mistake a feeling of gratitude for love. Love is a doing word.

Now how do you fall for someone you have barely spoken to? The first moment my little four year old self set eyes on Shikamaru, a feeling blossomed from the depths of my heart. And now, nine years later I sit beside him at his dinner table.

My stomach performed flips, my palms were sweaty, a permanent blush resided on my cheeks, and my eyes were cast down at my lap.

My head felt empty without my beanie, but a different feeling of warmth overtook it.

I felt a slight nudge from Shikamaru. I lifted my eyes, meeting his wonderous dark pools.

Another stomach flip.

His body was completely turned towards me, our knees almost touching. One of his hands was in his lap, while the other nested on the table holding his head. The familiar lazy expression dominated his face with a hint of surprise.

"You look beautiful." He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb the voices of his parents and my father in the kitchen.

My blush deepened. "Th-thank you." I fidgeted my hands in my lap, thankful of Sakura and Ino.

They completely made me over. Sakura picked out my best kimono; one I never thought I would wear. It was so modest, except the shortness ending a little before my knees. The soft black material hugged what curves I had and highlighted the contrast of my pale skin. My favorite part was the design: light cherry blossoms with a white vine danced across the darkness of the kimono. It was absolutely stunning. My hair was a similar story. Ino unwinded my curls creating loose ringlets that cascaded down my right shoulder, while the left side was pinned back.

Food suddenly arrived, interrupting our alone time. I had trouble paying attention to the conversation since Shikamaru's knee touched mine. I side-glanced at him, briefly catching his gaze. An unspoken understanding: neither of us wanted to move our knees apart.

The rest of dinner passed as a blur, the only clear moments were interactions between Shikamaru and I: knees touching, hands grazing, and eyes continuously meeting.

He escorted my father and I home. Kakashi walked awkwardly ahead of us, not used to romantic interactions towards me. Shikamaru walked beside me in silence, his hand occasionally bumping mine. Despite the silence, I felt completely comfortable around him. Of course, there was the nervous crush jitters. His hand grazed mine again, sending my nerves on roller coaster.

A feeling of boldness surged through me, I reach out my hand towards his, who was slightly ahead of me. As soon as the feeling came, it ended. My reach hesitated and drew back. The genius I desperately crushed on, noticed my gesture. He slowed down, looking at me. I froze, mouth slightly open, face a bright pink. A smirk formed on his face, deepening my blush. Like a gentlemen, he held out his hand. I grinned stupidly and took his hand into mine.

We walked hand in hand, quietly observing our surroundings. Kakashi turned around checking on us. I could tell a dark look crossed his face and glared at Shikamaru. I gave a look at him, mentally telling him to turn straight. He got the message, resumed walking and sulked. _Don't worry, dad. He won't steal me away. Only my heart._

"You're troublesome." Shikamaru broke the silence. I glanced toward him, noticing a faint blush on his cheeks.

* * *

I was on a high. An first date, well I counted it as a date, with Shikamaru and I am on my first mission.

Emi-Sensei was unfortunately unable to attend due to an ankle injury, she watched me depart from the gates though expressing many concerns.

Selquora patted my shoulder, causing me to stumble forward, "No worries, little Rory-chan! We'll take good care of you." My blue eyes met her sapphire-green eyes that began turning a rich mixture of golden yellow. That was the cool thing I loved about her, her eyes changed colors according to her emotions. Her happiness was understandable, she absolutely loved the outdoors and adventure. You could tell by the beautiful tan on her skin.

My gaze drifted to my other companion, Masuyo Suzume. Tall, long black hair, deep purple eyes, and soft rosy skin color. Another gorgeous girl, all these pretty girls made me feel slightly self-conscious. Suzume felt my gaze and gave me a heart-warming smile.

"So, it's time you knew the deats." Sel giggled, dancing a few steps sending lizards flying off her shoulders. Realizing what she did, she let out a small scream and rushed forward to the collect them.

Suzume laughed softly and continued where Sel left off, "We are locating a man named Shigeo. We'll keep you safe as you break into his memories. And I mean break. You must break his mind. Literally. I know you won't be able to comprehend the severity until later, but it will be tough. Besides, you currently have something on your mind."

I let out a small noise of surprise. _Was it that noticeable?_

Suzume caught up with Sel, and the two started chattering happily.

I walked behind, watching the sun rise form the trees. It peeked from the trees, turning the sky a series of colors.

My eyes watched the clouds above.

_I'll hurry home, for you._


	13. Blood On My Hands

So I now I saw this almost every update but I have been so busy with everything. Although, I have been writing this every day this week. If that counts for anything.

So just so you guys now my business: stupid 7 modes project for my AP Language class. (7 different essays on 1 topic)

And for those who care, I made the varsity soccer team at my school. (:  
Third year in a row. I am a junior, btw. And I play goalie. I am a beast and work my ass off for that team.

Chapters 6,7,9,10,11,12, and this one are still up for the contest!

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

A ringing noise filled my ears, blocking future thoughts. A high-pitched frequency that drove one crazy. It filled the demented forest clearing. This once hallow place now destroyed in blood and broken weapons. This atmosphere, so crazy, so bloodthirsty, so many evil thoughts, it made me not who I am anymore.

My breath came in ragged short gasps, close to the brink of hyperventilating. I was shaking. Rocking back and forth, unable to stop. Blood was all that I saw, covering my face, my hands. Oh my hands, I shifted my wide eyes to the bloody palm prints. _Did I just kill a man?_

Tears streamed down my face. The clear blue mixing with the blood creating a soft pink. A harsh resounding crack split my eardrums, magnifying the intensity of the ringing. I suddenly found myself laying face-first in a puddle of red mud. I gulped tasting the metallic tanginess of my own blood.

"Little bitch. Three of our best guys down. Oi, little whore," I glanced at the commander. A hefty frightening man. My target.

_This was supposed to be safe. How did this go wrong?_ I thought, keeping my eyes cast down.

A soft whimper strained my ears. Suzume.

Scarlet shone against her pale skin, along with a meaty hand wrapped around her neck. She struggled against him, focusing chakra into her foot. It would take awhile to build up. I pushed my consciousness towards hers. She felt it, sending a mental message to me.

_Build time. _

I looked away, focusing on one of Selquora's lions. It stood in a protective stance, fending off any enemies with a predatorily monsterous snarl. Her lizards accumulated on her stomach covering a giant wound. They were healing her.

My target, Shigeo, began taunting me. Cursing me, my beliefs, my land, my pride. He stood above, placing a foot heavily on my back.

I grunted unable to breath. I could feel every last whisper of air leave my body.

My vision swarmed with black dots. _No…_

Tears became heavier, which is silly. Dying girls don't cry.

Life is said to flash before your eyes in a moment of death. Funny, my life always flashes in front of my eyes…why is this time any different?

I placed my palms face down, gripping the ground. Muscles shaking, I pushed up.

Shigeo's taunts froze, unable to believe my sudden burst of strength. He jumped back weaving a series of seals.

I felt a kunai dive itself straight in my neck. A single, clean blow. The forest lighting changed to the darkness of death awaiting a newcomer. A terrifying scream sippled through the atmosphere, creating peaks of light. My own scream.

_Genjutsu: death viewing. _I searched my mind, remembering the scroll I read about this technique.

Fear squeezed my gut. "One way out." I said, revealing the trick to his jutsu. His eyes widened slightly in surprise.

Hands shaking, I reached into my thigh pouch. A flash of silver, RH calligraphy, a sharp point: my senbon set. Breathing in a rush of air, I gripped the senbon in one hand, the other forming a seal covering my heart. I looked at Suzume who was petrified in fear. Her eyes watched me curiously.

I gritted my teeth, thrusting my senbon in the crevice my hand seal exposed above my heart. There was a sudden rush of blood, an explosive of pain, another scream, a surge of strength.

My head hanging down, the red of my hair mingling with scarlet blood dripping down. I stood, hunched over, shaking and breathing heavily.

Not revealing any motives, I focused a mass of chakra towards my feet. _I'll plant my senbon when I move._

Shigeo flinched as I reached him, my movement too fast for eyes to catch. Head still hanging down, I thrust my hand to his neck. It was almost comical, a small girl holding a hefty monster to his death. His eyes widened and he sputtered for air, his face slowly turning purple.

I spoke low, in a deadly whisper, "You felt the coldness in my eyes," I tightened my grip on his neck, "Feel the pain you'll never now."

And more than pain was he feeling. All of my senbon were laced with poison, including the one sticking in my heart. Due to my counteraction of Shigeo's jutsu, the poison rushing through my veins went into the original jutsu caster. Who in this case is Shigeo.

I heard a faint movement from behind. Quickly, I weaved seals with my free hand and put it in front of my mouth. Before Shigeo's teammate could strike, I faced him, breathing in a rush air. "Warui kūki no Jutsu." I blew the air at him; it spiraled and encased his head. The jutsu eliminated all oxygen in the encased area. My opponent fell to the ground instantly.

I heard Suzume breath in with relief and slump against a tree, recovering.

Another quick hand skill graced my hand. When it was finished, I moved my arm quickly in a sweeping motion towards the idiot fighting Selquora's lion. A blast of air followed my movement, allowing my perfectly placed senbon to lodge itself in his neck. _Two down, one to go._ I squeezed even tighter on Shigeo's neck, making sure his death would be slow and painful.

I blinked scrunching my eyes together before looking at Shigeo directly in his eyes. Immediately I was in his consciousness. Flows of memories moved and swerved all around me. Important memories. This bastard can't die just yet. I walked past memories, not bothering to view any. Eventually I found my way to the heart of his memory. Finding the heart of memory is usually the hardest thing about my specialty. The heart can resemble anything that has hugely impacted the life of a person. I realized Shigeo's memory heart due to his original appearance, a clear silver chain that he wore at all times around his neck.

Faintly, my original body felt the pulsing of the cool necklace against my hand. I thought back to the sight of my fallen teammates. Anger flooded my body. I bit down on my tongue, drawing blood. Tasting the metallic tanginess, my consciousness grasped Shigeo's memory heart. With a mighty tug, I pulled the necklace. Free from its hold, the fragments of Shigeo's mind broke, all falling down in jagged cracks.

I drew back from his mind quickly, immediately feeling the results of my bloodline. I found myself in the same position as earlier: evenly holding my gaze to Shigeo. This time, however, instead of hate and fear that I saw…. There was nothing. A blank, glazed over gaze penetrating nothingness. He was dead. All proof of his being lay resting in my head, waiting to be penetrated by the Konoha Intelligence Committee.

A mixture of emotions coursed through me. Regret. Sorrow. Anger. Guilt. I didn't know how to feel about killing a man. Or more than one; taking his identity, his memories, his glass sanctuary being crushed by rocks.

I whimpered, feeling a river of tears amongst my eyes. Strength began to fail me causing Shigeo to slip from my grip and lay on the ground. I staggered back, blood dripping from every injury, the main one being my own weapon in my own heart.

Suzume leaped up and began to dispose of Shigeo's body. I heard Selquora shuffle around and whisper to her lions. She must have awoken a few moments earlier.

"There is a team nearby. One of the new genin teams. Rory needs medical assistance. I'm sending Tickle to get them." Selquora spoke quietly to Suzu, quickly recognizing the severity my body was under, and sent one of her lions to retrieve the team.

Though time passed in quick seconds, it felt like hours until I heard approaching footsteps. I staggered once more, hunching over coughing up blood. Looking at the ground, I noticed a small wire. Something strange.

A scream accompanied Team 10's arrival. I turned my head, catching the frozen faces of fear on all genin and sensei. Chouji turned throwing up at the bloody battleground. Ino paled, nearly fainting. Shikamaru's expression was unreadable, I could never understand it. He stood, petrified. Then he burst into a sprint towards me, arms outstretched to catch me. That's when I became aware I was falling, face first. If he didn't catch me, the senbon would pierce directly through my heart.

_Shika….._

My eyes widened as I slowly realized what the wire was: A trap. I tried to shake my head but I was so weak. Shikamaru reached me, stumbling across the wire. His eyes widened as he realized what he had done.

Showers of weapons appeared from their hidden location. Senbon, kunai, swords, everything. Mass chaos broke out in our small group. Asuma quickly shielded Ino and Chouji, Sel sent her summons to safety, and Suzume rushed towards Shikamaru and I.

I caught myself, dodging Shikamaru's grasp. His hands faintly grabbed the ends of my shirt. I weaved a quick hand seal and outstretched my hands, palms up. Gusts of winds greeted my call, protecting us all from the weapons. Each kunai and senbon fell against the winds sheer strength and fell harmlessly to the ground, leaving everyone untouched.

Everyone sighed from relief, mentally thanking me. I gasped, my body shuttering from exhaustion. I fell into Shikamaru, meeting his open embrace. His arms wrapped around me, arms resting on my shoulders. My senses perked back up at the sound of air quickly being sliced.

My jutsu missed one kunai and it was aimed straight at Shikamaru's back. Using the rest of my courage, I spun us around just in time. Instead of him, it hit me directly on the other side of my heart.

_It seems as though you are slowly breaking my heart, Shika. Not intentionally of course. _

Blood oozed from my chest, head, legs, back and mouth. Shikamaru lifted his arms and cupped my face. I giggled, spluttering drips of blood on his face. I felt my vision go faint, my body seconds away from passing out. He gripped my face tighter, screaming words. But I couldn't hear. My body was failing.

I was never meant to do work like this. After the accident, I shouldn't have been able to walk. My damn pride wouldn't allow it though. And now, I had finally pushed too far. At least I would be dying protecting a loved one.

"Promise me, you won't forget me." I whispered as Shikamaru leaned his head towards me.

"You baka, I won't let you die."

Those words, faintly whispered by the boy who had my heart, was the last thing I heard.

Then darkness I was all too familiar with.


	14. All These Things I Hate

Oh gosh, all this waiting for submitting updates is killing me. I barely have time to write around a paragraph a day. writing a story is hard work. But I would like to thank all of you guys for reading and patiently waiting on me. (: I'm hoping updating will definitely get faster.

Oh it has already been a month since I began writing this story! Happy monthaversary!

EternallyFaithful correctly guessed chapter 13 and her amazing character will appear next chapter, I promise (:

Chapters 6,7,9,10,11,12, and this one are still up for the contest!

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

The sun shone brightly, blistering my skin. The day was too bright in contrast with my mood. Annoyed, frustrated, sore, and guilty. I tried walking straight, my head held high, but I always found myself staring determinedly at the ground. Kids ran past me, shouting and playing games. I stopped, turned and watched them longingly.

I ached for that time again. The time where you can run around and play without a worry in the world. Too bad worry seemed to follow me everywhere I went.

Sweat dripped down my back, wetting the bandages around my chest and left shoulder. It was irritating. I continued walking, grumbling. _What the hell was I thinking, "Promise me, you won't forget me." I mean, I sounded like I was in a dramatic chick flick. _ I rolled my shoulders, grunting in slight pain. _With all these injuries, I feel like an old hag.  
_

I sighed, greeting Emi as she fell in step beside me. Looking in her eyes, I saw sympathy and guilt. She felt terrible for what went wrong on the mission and wished she went.

She opened her mouth, face set in a concerned expression, "I.."

I waved a hand, brushing it off. "I'm alive, aren't I?"

Emi nodded, recognizing my forgiveness and thankful it didn't need to be expressed verbally. "That is the only mission you will ever go on without me." She confirmed with me, expressing both of our future fears.

I sent her a small grin, extending my arm forward gesturing for her to go through the office door first.

She led me down familiar hallways and stopped short at the Hokage's office. Her eyes met mine, full of worry. "Are you ready?" She took my hand in hers and squeezed at my nod. With a sigh, she knocked and entered, me in tow.

With my first step in, I immediately felt uncomfortable. Squads of ANBU members were grouped strategically around the room. Their masked faces glared down at me, harshly carven. I looked for a familiar face, finding comfort in Emi, the Hokage, and my father. Instantaneously, Kakashi was by my side, murmuring words of comfort, petting my hair. Just a father expressing his worry.

However, my comfort was not for long.

"We need those memories Roran." The Hokage spoke slowly, stressing the importance of Shigeo's memories.

I agreed. These memories haunted me and kept appearing before my vision, as though they wanted to tell me something. One flashed before my eyes, revealing a young Itachi. The way I remembered him before he left. I inhaled suddenly, alerting the ANBU of reluctance. One member crossed his arms, shifting his weight on one of his legs. I realized then that the memories needed to be viewed by me instead of my abilities be used completely for another's own gain.

Changing the topic, I untied my headband from my neck, accidentally knocking of my beanie. Kakashi swooped down, picking it up and placed it back on my head. Holding my headband up, I pointed to a small insignia that randomly appeared after my mission.

The Hokage bowed his head in recognition, no question to answer what I wanted to ask. "The Mirror of Matsuyama." He spoke gravely.

"This is your clan's symbol for many reasons. You do know the folklore, correct?"

I nodded, remembering the tale. _A mirror that steps through the realm of death to view loved departed ones. _

"The mirror was taken as the symbol because you can view destroyed memories from dead targets. The mirror only appears after you first destroy a human's most sacred being: their mind and memory. With each more you destroy, the mirror will become more filled out. You have had one, signifying the mirror's faint outlines. Eventually it will become darker until you reach a certain number, which is only known to the clan."

I brushed my bangs out my face, clearing my vision from red wisps to the kind old man's face. "So, it's like a rite of passage within my clan?"

He nodded, closing his eyes. Smoke from his pipe wafted through the air. The annoyed ANBU from earlier leaned down and whispered in his ear.

_I don't like that guy. He knows I'm biding my time here. _

Proving my thoughts correct, the Hokage cleared his throat. "Now, little Rory-chan, these memories." I smiled at the mention of my nickname but grimaced at his request.

Shakingly, I asked, "Can I have a moment?" I tried to portray an image of myself. One that is afraid, shaken up, and terrified, felling the mission's aftershock.

It worked. The Hokage smiled, encouragingly, accepting my condition.

Quickly, I immersed myself in Shigeo's memories. I saw his beginning, middle, and end. Despite seeing myself murder him, a middle memory put me in shock.

_It was years before now, an ANBU group was positioned alongside the town elders. I found myself in the same room my original body was in. Itachi stood, emotionless, dressed in his uniform. His eyes passively swept across the room. "You understand what this means, correct?" Itachi nodded slightly, wisps of black hair flying in his vision. The Hokage sighed very deeply, "Itachi, I am very.." He was cut off abruptly by the cold reply of the teen. "Business is business. If this I what I must do for my village, then so be it." Itachi's voice grew softer suddenly. "Just not Sasuke…"_

I was thrown out of the memory by a touch on my shoulder. I recognized the touch as Kakashi's. But it was too late, I had seen everything I once ached to know.

Fear squeezed my gut as I slowly registered the truth. I trudged forward to the Hokage's desk. I gripped the edges, my knuckles slowly turning white from the pressure. I tilted my head looking up at the wise, kind old man. Or so I had thought.

Noticing an open window behind him, I spoke faintly, "Is this all we are to you? To the village? Mere tools?" I pushed all of Shigeo's memories out of my head, filling up the space of the office. Collective gasps were heard as the memories began to override each individual. I glanced back, seeing the mental struggles of consciousness versus memories. My strength equipped with the memories allowed the Uchiha incident memory to be shown without interruption.

I ran over to the window, leaping on the sill. "People should always know the truth."

My feet landed softly, my body crouched low. I pushed forward, exploding into a sprint, aware I might have chasers in a few moments.

People blurred around me, different faces, different stories. At the moment, I only cared to see one person: Sasuke.


	15. Warmness On The Soul

So this update is way better than the last one. That last chapter, oh lord. I'm sorry I even published that. I wasn't having a great day when I wrote that. I was frustrated and stressed. But now, I am all good and so is this update! Well, I like to think.

You can always let me know your thoughts (:

EternallyFaithful's character is introduced in this chapter. And yes, she is awesome.

Chapters 6,7,9,10,11,12, 14, and this one are still up for the contest!

Contest in place: If you have noticed that my story title and chapter names are songs, then try and guess the artist.

If correct, I will either make you a character in my story or write a story about your character or write a one-shot or any request similar to those. Or you can just guess for the hell of it.

* * *

I bit my lip, almost to the point of drawing blood. So many thoughts and emotions whirled inside me. I wanted to explode. My eyes shifted and meet the cold, hard gaze of Sasuke. His dark hair hung softly in front of his face, his eyes peeking through. I grimaced, not used to this behavior. At my first mention of Itachi, the small smile that once graced his face was replaced by a hard, thin line. I thought back to Shigeo's memories and the horror I witnessed. _So that is why I was asked to destroy his memories. Shigeo was one of Itachi's old teammates!_ Everything suddenly clicked and began to make sense. _Kohona obviously didn't want this classified information to leak so that is why I had to destroy his memories. And that is why all those ANBU members wanted the information!_ Sasuke moved, slightly turning away from me, indicating a figurative cold shoulder.

I sighed, heavily, annoyed by his coldness. Every emotion inside of me was slowly building up and every little thing was beginning to frustrate me. The bright sun, the happily chirping birds, the way my bandages grazed my skin, the soreness of my shoulder and chest, the sympathetic looks from my own Sensei, and now the harshness I was receiving from Sasuke. Every little thing. I stood, stretching my arms over my head. Slowly, my feet trudged to the door. Silence greeted my action and I could still fell the icy gaze upon my back. I opened the door, sunlight spilling in through the slight cracks. Without turning my back, I spoke, "Stop acting like a little brat. You weren't the only one hurt by what happened. I'm trying to tell you what really happened, but you are too involved with your long pity party. Suck it up and grow up. Your family may be dead, so is mine, and other countless others in this village. You still have family, not blood related, and we care."

My statement was laced with frustration and emphasized with my slamming of the door. I began my slow walk back to the center of the village. I glared at the bright sun, muttering incoherent curses. My body was drained, physically and emotionally. The mission left me physically broken, needing repair. Fractures in my shoulder and a tightness in my chest along with a small scar. The mission also left me emotionally broken, full of guilt, remorse, regret, pain, confusion, and newfound frustration.

I hung my head down, eyes staring blankly at the ground. A wind breezed by, gracing my face with a faint coolness. I took off my beanie angrily and threw it into the wind. I watched as it flew away with a bittersweet emotion. _I'm too frustrated with those damn Uchiha boys to be in good graces of them. _I scowled, letting my emotions override me.

I jumped slightly as I felt a hand entwine with mine. I lifted my head and smiled as I recognized who it was. "Hey, Suzume."

She smiled in response, tilting her head. Her long black hair followed her movement and danced with the incoming wind. In contrast to her black hair, a small soft pink sakura flower hairpin held hair from invading her line of vision. I was stunned once again by her beauty. "I wanted to check up on you. Selquora wanted to come but the nurses forced her to stay at the hospital. " She giggled lightly.

"I'm getting better." I smiled weakly, unsure of how to answer. Suzume squeezed my hand in comfort. "The first mission is always the hardest." I looked away, averting her gaze. We stopped walking. I finally looked at my surroundings and recognized our location to be close to the hospital. We stood on a small bridge surrounded by sakura trees. Suzume faced me, her blue Haori jacket swinging in the wind. She crouched down, meeting at my eye level. Her calm dark purple eyes glanced worriedly at my restless blue eyes. "You know Sel and I are always here if you need to talk."

I nodded, unable to speak. Words had simply died in my throat. She patted my head, "I'll be right back, I'm going to go get Sel." I watched her walk away, feeling a slight sense of isolation. I sighed and walked over to the bridge's railing. I leaned on it, watching the small circles of water underneath the bridge. I closed my eyes, listening to the leisurely current of the water and the rustling of the leaves.

My tranquility was disturbed by a soft padding of footsteps. I opened my eyes, wind blowing my bangs into a frenzy. I smiled in greeting, then immediately felt stupid. I appeared to lock gazes with another beauty of Kohona. Appeared. Except this beauty is blind. I tilted my head curiously.

_Gosh, where are all these beauties showing up from? _My arms crossed in front of my chest, displaying insecurities. I suddenly felt mundane compared to her. Long, pure, silver hair with pale hints of a soft pastel blue to bright fiery red hair with soft natural highlights of orange; beautifully shaped pale blue eyes to normal blues with white cloudy accents, curtsey to my bloodline. We did share a similarity, however. A faint rosy skin tone that complimented both of us wonderfully.

She spoke, sounding timid, "Am I disturbing you?"

I laughed lightly, trying to be friendly, "Oh no, of course not! I'm Hatake Roran!" A grin graced my face and I stuck out a hand for a greeting.

A wind pranced by, picking up sakura blossoms and swirling through the air. I brought back my hand, embarrassed and afraid I might have offended her. "Oh no, I'm sorry! I forgot you—"

The blind beauty giggled softly, bringing a small hand up to cover her mouth. "It's not a problem. I'm Yandian Hitomi!"

My smile grew at the warmth of her voice. Her happiness seemed to be transmitting to me.

"It seems as though chance brought us here, Roran. I had been planned to meet you later today by Emi-Sensei." Hitomi spoke, feeling her way around to stand in front of me. I quickly gathered that her other senses were heightened to make up for the lack of sight. I grabbed her hand, letting her know I was near.

More voices joined our conversation. "ROOOOORRRRAAANNN!" I heard the squeal then felt the impact of a large hug. I laughed as I fell into the arms of Selquora. She was wearing her usual attire of capris, a tank top, and her dark blue jacket. To match her capris were the same color and white tank top with white and blue tye dye flip-flops. I smiled and buried into her arms. I had been so worried about her.

She drew back form me, moving bits of her light blue hair from her face. She looked stunning and full of health. The way the sun was positioned illuminated everyone in a graceful light. Sel's hair glowed, a light blue with hints of purple hues and dark blue tips, her skin a nice healthy tan, and her smile large.

My smile grew as my bad mood dispersed. I looked around at our group and nearly teared up. _This is where I belong. In a place full of my happiness: my friends. _

"So you already met Hitomi-San?" Suzume said, plucking a sakura blossom from the ground and placing it in Sel's hair, another in mine. I nodded, my red curls bouncing. "Just now."

Another voice joined us, "Well good."

I turned, meeting the eyes of Emi-Sensei. She patted my head in a greeting and accepted a flower from Suzume, who was passing them around to everyone. Sel gathered a load and placed them on Tickle, her adorable lion cub.

Emi smiled, her green eyes surveying the group. Then suddenly she got serious, "Now Roran, I plan on signing you up for the Chuunin exams. This is usually for three-man teams. Sel and Suzu have already passed a long time ago. Two-man teams are also acceptable, which is why I have asked the Hokage for permission to allow Hitomi on our team." She explained to me, everyone else already inside the loop. She walked and stood in between Hitomi and I, placing an arm around both of our shoulders.

"Hitomi is brilliant, matching your I.Q. Maybe even more intelligent. She will be the main tactician and create strategies. You both have equal strength, Hitomi tends to stick with swords as a weapon while you have a broader base. Whatever one of you is lacking in, the other is strong in. You two will make a great team."

Hitomi smiled, eager for missions. I smiled shakily, thinking back to the previous mission. Was it a success or a failure? It could be a success, target acquired, no causalities. But this mission could also be a failure: the hurt caused, physically and emotionally to the team. To the village it was a success, a pat on the back. To me, it was a failure. I….was a failure.

I jumped feeling a slight nibble on my hand. Tickle playfully bit and batted at my hand, drawing my attention. I glanced at Sel, who was looking at me knowingly.

I laughed uncertainly, scratching the back of my head. The conversation began to dissolve; I didn't pay much attention though.

Eventually everyone slowly left except for Sel. She followed me as I began down the familiar path to the Yamanka Flower Shop. "Cheer up, kiddo. We survived." She stopped me in the middle of the street, grabbing my wrist. Other villagers huffed at our sudden stop and shuffled around us.

She squeezed my wrist, forcing me to look her in the eye. "That will never happen again. I promise you with every fiber of my being. And I ALWAYS keep my promises."

Staring into her golden happy eyes, I felt a rush of relief and was overwhelmed with her care. We hadn't been friends long, but we understood each other on a level equivalent to best friends. I smiled, tears in my eyes. My head bobbed in agreement.

Sel gave me a cheeky grin and broke into a run, dragging me by the wrist. I stumbled, laughter spilling from my mouth. We raced side-by-side, matching grins and expressions. Heaps of laughter came from the both of us as we eventually came into a stop in front of the flower shop. We doubled over, tears from laughing so hard falling across our faces. "I'll leave you here today, but tomorrow we'll keep training! It will be summon time!" She jumped, pumping one arm in the air. With that she left me. I watched her go, the sun spewing warmth and golden rays in her wake. I grinned entering the shop.

The different aromas intoxicated me. The different colors blinding me. I closed my eyes, breathing everything in and feeling a newfound calmness. Ino immediately greeted me with a quick hug and handed me an apron. I shrugged it on, maintaining a position behind the register.

Ino roamed about, checking upon the different flowers and watering them. "I know you probably don't want to talk about, you know, so I won't bring it up."

I watched her. A sly grin slowly formed on her face as she gave me a side-glace before continuing, "So, Shikamaru, huh?"

My cheeks immediately matched my hair. I stuttered, unable to answer. She giggled, covering her mouth. "It is SO obvious you completely dig him. I personally think you go for him. A strong silent type. You can never really tell what he is thinking though. But his reaction to seeing you at the mission, I totally think there must be something there!"

Her last sentence achieved greater value as the "strong silent type" hovered at the entrance. His dark gaze met mine, lingering at the flower in my hair. He frowned slightly, entering the shop. Ino giggled; sending glances my way and made her way to the back of the shop. Her departure left Shikamaru and I in silence. My breathing speed up and I was almost certain he could hear the loud _thump_ of my heart beating against my ribcage.

Shikamaru lazily glanced around, peeking at the different flowers. I resumed my position as a cashier. I nervously played with my hands and hid behind my hair. _I feel so weak around him. Especially now, since he knows how I feel. This feelings they just keep getting deeper. __It's a like "the very purpose for existence" came flooding into my life, washing all my worries and doubts away. _

I tried to muster up something to say but every word died before leaving my mouth. I watched him lean over a plant to examine a flower.

"How much is this?" he asked, curiously holding up a beautiful flower. The Caesalpinia Pulcherrima. His hands smoothed over the delicate petals, which were a lovely shade of red fading into a soft orange around the edges. I grinned, resting my elbows on the counter. Shikamaru walked closer as I spoke, "Not much, just five. It's my favorite flower. Whoever gets it is a lucky girl." My grin grew with the blush on his now pink cheeks. Despite his blush, his expression remained blank with a slight trace of smugness. I continued, "So who is it for?"

"Just some troublesome girl." He spoke faintly, now inches away from my face. He mimicked my position of leaning on the counter. He sighed, then brought up a hand to hair. "I don't like this flower." Shikamaru gently removed the sakura blossom from my hair and set it on the counter. My eyes were wide, my cheeks were pink, and my breathing was soft and increased. His eyes held mine, and I stared deep into them.

With a lazy gesture, he tucked one side of my hair behind my ear and carefully placed the Caesalpinia Pulcherrima in my hair. I gulped, unable to move. My insides were churning over in bouts of nausea and nervousness. My mind and heart desperately screamed for me to close the space between our faces. Just a few inches.

My breathing grew heavier as he retreated, leaving money on the counter. He turned and began his way out. Without looking back, he opened the door and paused.

"You are that troublesome girl."


	16. Learning To Fall

Since I have been out for a long time ( ) I decided to make this chapter really long. I am so sorry. But if it helps, I am fully recovered. My rotator cuff took longer than normal to heal but in this time, I have thought about this story and developed plots and two possible endings. :D

Oh, there is a joke in this chapter. Sorry if it offends you. It was the only joke that came to my mind. Personally, I think it is hilarious. :D

And I have a thought about the contest. Guesses haven't really been flowing in and some of you have already guessed. I was thinking: if you have already guessed and guess again correctly, you can help me write the next chapter.

Sound good? Let me know (:

Oh and thanks for all the support. I feel terrible for having this chapter so late. And after this story is done, I had a request from an amazing contest winner (MoreThanABitCrazy29) for another Shika story. I might even begin this one near the end of BM. Who knows (:

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I smacked the Shougi piece down, not caring where it landed. My force caused other pieces to jump before _klink!_ing back down. Irritation flooded my being. Why? Because my father left on an important mission with his team, assisting some Tazuna guy. I would have been okay with this except he didn't tell me until the morning he left and Naruto had to request a higher ranking one. I admired his bravery but I hated being alone. I feared it. The isolation, the unknown, my thoughts spiraling and over processing everything, the past flooding me, everything about it. I was worried. For him, for my dad, for Sakura, and for that dumbass Uchiha. Regret filled my mind at the thought of Sasuke. My heart ached. I gritted my teeth and rolled my injured shoulder gingerly, keeping it from getting stiff.

"You seem tense." Shikaku muttered, making a winning move. Despite his objective tone, I had been working with him long enough to notice a hint of worry. A similarity I noticed between father and son.

I leaned back, chair creaking. My eyes studied the man before him and the boy I envisioned when I looked at him. They were shadows, appearing with light and vanquishing without the source. His light? Easily determined: his wife and the love they have, his son, the will of fire that brightly burns within, and his village. Shikamaru's light? I'm not sure. But the appearance of shadows showed. Their slightly tanned skin represent their light, the long, sleek black hair resembled the darkness of the night, the smoldering coals of eyes they possessed held an air of mystery that drew me in, their lazy demeanor signified a naturalness of shadows: carefree, enigmatic. I sighed, muttering a, "Sorry." _Oh god, I just have it bad for him._

This was true. He was always on my mind, in form or another. I related everything to him, from my memorization studies to the food I ate to the wind whispering in my ears. It was always him. Always Shikamaru. Ever since I accidentally admitted my feelings to him, I was a jittery mess. Since then, he might have dropped a few hints here and there into his own feelings, but they were just too carefree. Was it just mindless flirting? What was it! Unconsciously, my fists tightened. Shikaku eyes noticed my motions. He sighed.

"You're thinking too much."

I thought about playing dumbing, referring to the game. However, the genius of Shikaku read my emotions and thoughts. I dropped my eyes as his lifted to meet mine. "Thoughts are deadly." I agreed quietly.

He motioned his hand in a 'shooing' motion, signifying my time to go. I got up without a word but paused in the doorway at Shikaku's words.

"My boy is out looking for you."

I gulped, throwing a wave over my shoulder. I could feel a smirk creep onto his face.

I waited until I was clear out of his view before breaking out into a sprint towards Sel's training room. I halted in front of the door, leaned back against it trying to stabilize my breathing. Suddenly I felt weightless as the door opened. I landed harshly on my bottom while simultaneously biting my lip.

A metallic tang slowly filled my mouth as Sel sputtered, "Sorry," between laughs. I took her outstretched hand and pulled myself up. "It's all good."

A giggle escaped her, a bright pure sound, and she dragged me into her lavender training room.

"You need to cheer up some!" She exclaimed, shaking her light blue hair. At her words, music filled the room, elevating the room's atmosphere to match the peppy rock tune. Sel began to dance wildly, swaying her hips, moving her arms, and flailing around. I watched her silently for a few seconds. Tickle, her lion companion, nudged me forward. Smiling, I raced to join her. Music filled my ears and a pulse radiated through my body. Sel and I giggled happily until the song ended its last note.

Sel grinned while walking over to a large lion. She petted its head and exposed her signing mark. The lion released a contract from its hold. "You have yours, right?"

I nodded, slightly out of breath and pulled out the Hatake dog contract from my thigh pouch. "Now, I'm not going to keep explaining summonings to you since I did the last time. I'm positively sure you remember everything." I nodded again, the mention of the single word "summon" sending my memory into a frenzy. Sel gently removed the contract from my grasp, bent over, and softly spread it open upon the floor. She looked up at me once finished, eyes brimming with curiousity. Her thoughts and mine were the exact same: _This is an old family-line summon. Will it accept my blood, my courage, my existence as an adoptive Hatake member?_

"Go ahead." She said faintly, standing and stepping back. An unusual air built up around her as a serious demeanor overtook her playful personality. A sudden overwhelming fear seized my gut. I stopped mid step, frozen with fear of uncertainty and rejection. _All my life, I have wanted to belong. I earned my title but can this simple rejection ruin it all?_

I gulped, the swallow seeming loud along with the roaring thumping of my heart beat. A cold sweat began to trickle down my forehead. Moments ago I was happily dancing my worries away and now I stand, almost alone, worries back and increased by tenfold. My hand stretched out uncertainly before quickly withdrawing. I drew in a shaky breathe while mentally scolding myself with one word. _Courage._

My posture straightened and I walked confidently to the contract, my blood already on my thumb tip. In one sweeping motion, I signed my name directly under small childlike scribble that read, "Hatake Kakashi."

Sel appeared hovering over my shoulder. I watched her, unable to see the contract reject or deny me. Her eyes were in the process of mixing colors, a trait I loved about Sel. The usual sapphire with highlights of green slowing turned into deep purple with traces of red, signifying her worry. My eyes carefully watched hers for any color change that showed my result.

Silence and tension filled the room as seconds ticked by. They felt like hours though. My anticipation as a slow reality began to sink in. _It didn't accept. _My mind shut down at the thought of rejection. I didn't know what to do next. My fists clenched and began to shake. Tears steadily formed in my eyes, casting a sorrowful blue over my cloudy blue. My ears roared with no sound. Just a steady rush of air.

Then, a squeal. I could hardly comprehend what was happening as Sel turned me around, shaking me, and screaming words I couldn't understand. I searched her eyes for a color, but they were tightly squeezed shut. "YAY!"

Sel released me and began to dance around wildly in celebration. My mouth dropped slightly in wonder and confusion. I glanced at the contract and immediately feel to my knees. I reached out my clean hand and grazed the contract, feeling the old, rough material under my palm. I traced the signatures of past generations, my father, and my own. I was accepted. A true Hatake. A powerful surge of relief went through my body. I glanced at Sel, only long enough to catch her nod.

Focusing, I ran my blood over the contract. Immediately, we were greeted with a large puff of smoke. Surprised, I stumbled falling backwards on my butt. Pakkun appeared from the smoke clearing. Before Sel could mutter a praise, the dog spoke gravely, "Congrats, Rory, but I must leave quickly now. Your father and team are in danger. He has all of us on standby. Do NOT summon until further notice."

His dropped his voice as he pawed his way up to me, "Don't worry. We'll take care of him." Slowly, he lifted one paw and placed it on my palm. Pain suddenly shot down my arm, starting from the shoulder down to my fingertips. I gasped, in shock and pain. As Pakkun returned, Emi-Sensei and Hitomi entered. The looks of worry across their faces showed they had heard. Hitomi sensed her way to me and grasped my free hand in comfort. "It's going to be okay."

I shook my head. Too much has happened lately. All of it bad. Sel joined Hitomi, sitting across from me examining my hand. "A paw print." I glanced at her confused. She returned my hand, her warmth slowly leaving my hand. "Your summon symbol."

Stretching my hand slowly, I grimaced slightly at the pain but gaped at the symbol. A small black paw print was engraved in the center of my palm as a focus point. Emi cleared her throat and I sensed a topic on her mind that bothered her. My eyes connected with hers. "You probably aren't ready to hear this but…. Another mission. And this one will be mentally harder than the last. It could be dangerous."

Hitomi squeezed my hand, clearly understanding my feeling of guilt and unease. _Can I make it through this time?_ Not sharing my thoughts, I asked, "What is the focus?"

Emi nodded, her dark hair bouncing. It was in curls today, framing her face and narrowing the length. "Summoning contract. Once upon a time, Kohona possessed a special contract. Naturally it was wanted by other nations and it was stolen. Now is the time to retrieve it. Suzume is currently en route to help out Kakashi. If she is back on time, she will join you. If not, Hitomi, Selquora, Roran, it is up to you. Pack your bags, meet at the gate at dawn. You leave tomorrow." Emi-Sensei paced the room while briefing us and stopped at our feet. She smiled warmly, closing her piercing green eyes. In a motherly like gesture, she reached over and patted us all on the head like we were children who behaved at a meal.

She, then, turned heel and walked away. At her leave, Sel tried to lighten the mood by cracking jokes. "So a donkey walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'why the long face?'" She looked around, mouth open in a grin. Hitomi politely grinned while my mouth remained tight. Sel frowned, running a tan hand through her hair. She tried again, "So Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'why the long face?'

I couldn't contain myself, I laughed at the mention of the actress's name. Hitomi also joined in at the punchline, followed closely by Sel. Our laughs filled the room, bouncing off the walls and giving a pleasant atmosphere. We remained there for a time before a knock sounded on the door.

Sel jumped up and opened the door. She made a small sound of surprise while blocking my view of the stranger. She turned around slightly, sending a flirty gaze my way and closed the door softly. Giggles escaped her mouth as she ran to me and yanked me up. Her grip tightened as my heels dug into the floor. "Have fun~" she yelled, opening the door and throwing me outside.

I grunted as I landed face first into someone. They seemed as surprised as I did. Slowly, I felt their muscles relax from the surprise. However, my entire body stiffened as familiar smell filled my nose and a blush crept on my face. Leaning back quickly, I stumbled but was caught by a firm grip.

Shikamaru lowered his head to my eye level. His dark eyes were smoldering with an emotion I couldn't identify. His usual smirk melted my heart as his calloused hands grazed my own. I struggled to control my increasing heart beat. I almost had it back to normal when he spoke, bringing another round of nervousness and excitement through me. His smirk grew slightly as I formed a clumsy one. He raised one eyebrow, sending butterflies swarming in my stomach. He grabbed my hand, leading me away.

"You seem tense."


	17. The Shake This Awful Feeling

Hey, guys. Goodness has it been long. I am so sorry for the extremely long wait. School, soccer, and AP Exams completely took me over. But never fear! Summer is here along with my newfound inspiration! :D I am going to take away the contest. Lets face it, people only guessed when this story was more popular. But the downfall is, indeed, my fault.

Forgive me? (:

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My eyes fluttered open as an explosion of hues danced across my eyelids. I rolled my body over onto my back, ignoring the whistles of grass tickling my exposed skin. Memories of last night weaved through my mind, updating my currently confused mind to speed. _Cloud watching turns to star watching when night's first breath sighs across the sky._

I sighed, stretching out my sore limbs. Faint pops and cracks filled the empty silence. My eyes scanned the horizon taking in the rich jewel tones of the rising sun. _I guess silence really is golden. _

The early morning sunshine glimmered upon the dew dropped ground, making appear to be soft gems of light. Soft rays of light weaved through housetops seeking remains of the dark. The sky was set ablaze with reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows. A grin slowly appeared on my face while I closed my eyes, feeling the tender warmth of the sun.

Soft snores caused me to turn to my left. A blush filled my cheeks as my eyes feel upon Shikamaru sleeping softly inches away. My short, sweet sense of peace vanished as I remembered I needed to meet my team. I jumped to my feet, ready to sprint home. "Bye, deer." I whispered playing on words and his name.

I ran home, as fast as I could. No time to waste. My chest ached as my sweaty hands groped the doorknob. Pants flew from my mouth while I tried to catch my breath. "Thank god my pack is ready." I muttered to myself pulling out a one shoulder black top, finished with the spiraling Hatake symbol, and a pair of fitted grey pants. I debated putting them back, they were tight. Almost tight enough to be leggings.

I shrugged, not having enough time, and bounded into my bathroom. I ignored my reflection. Sleeping outside doesn't do wonders on beauty. A sigh escaped me as I ran one hand through my hair and the other turned on the shower faucet.

_Why do I have a bad feeling about this mission?_

I was jittery. My foot tapped against the ground rapidly while my arms remained crossed across my chest. I wanted to enjoy the tranquil atmosphere but a feeling in my gut said otherwise. A pain shot through my injured shoulder as well as my other palm. I rolled my shoulder, not wanting it to get stiff. The bandages were hidden underneath the one shoulder, an extra protection. Another pain. I stretched out my palm, glancing curiously at the paw print focus. _Not a good feeling at all. _

I bit my lip, wishing my father and Team 7 well. Pakkun's news sent my worrying over the edge… for a little bit. A wave of guilt rushed over me as my thoughts turned to my distraction.

"_You seem tense." _

The silence erupted with the patter of feet signifying the arrival of my team. They arrived at once, each somewhat solemn as if they had previously discussed something. _Are they hiding something? _ Emi-Sensei greeted me first halting my thoughts, her eyes wide awake and alert. Although she was dressed in her usual attire, there seemed to be something off in her demeanor. She was quiet, mouth drawn into a thin line. Sel immediately took over, dragging a tired Hitomi behind her. Sel enveloped me in a hug, her pastel hair glowing brightly against the sun driven hues.

Emi spoke, breaking the comfy friendliness, "Lets get going. We have about two weeks before arriving at the foothills of Fang Country. It is going to be a rough journey, our travels will be through war stricken towns. We may not be welcome." As she spoke, she broke ahead of our group walking closer and closer to Kohona's gates. She stiffly turned, beckoning us to follow.

I glanced at Sel and Hitomi noticing similar confused expressions before joining my leader. She led us in a chilly silence through the gates. Our last security before out in the open. My senses sprang into alert. I lingered at the edge, pausing to glance back.

My hand pushed my fiery bangs from my face as my eyes searched the familiar landscape of home. A small movement caused my eyes to zero in. The all too accustomed blush spread across my cheeks along with small smile. All feelings of worry, guilt, nervousness and anxiety faded. _Shika…_


	18. Tiny Heart

So this update would have been sooner but a huge storm tore through my state. The power has been out for FOREVER :(

Enjoy (:

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A groan escaped my lips as I tried to escape from the relentless sun. My legs trudged forward, exhausted. The heat beat down on my back, coating me in a thin layer of sweat. _Three towns, no break. What is her problem!_ I furrowed my brow, glaring at my sensei in front of me.

Her demeanor was the same: cold, stiff, rigid. I watched as her body expand before crumpling into a sigh. She turned as the tempting thoughts of rest began to overtake my mind. "We will take a small break here. And by break, training for Roran and Hitomi." Her voice cut through our tiredness crisp and sharp.

My eyes shifted to the blind beauty next to me. Her translucent eyes held concern but her posture said otherwise. Swiftly, she pulled her hair back sensing her way to begin training with Sel. _Leaves me with…._

I felt the cold whisper of a flying fist against my cheek. Dropping my pack, I used my good arm to block before flipping away. I landed alert, on the balls of my feet.

"So Rory, tell me. What is your relationship with the Nara boy?" Emi asked, slyly, trying to draw a response out of me. She charged, appearing in front of me. I gritted my teeth before managing a quick block. Countering I swung my leg, knocking her legs from under her. A quick poof revealed a log and my frustration. Before I could turn, I felt Emi's hand on grasp my left arm and another hand on my shoulder. A hiss escaped me as she gripped the healing open wounds underneath the bandages. "Sensei!" I heard Sel cry.

"No mercy." Was the clipped reply.

She began to twist my arm, bending it out of proportion. My mind reeled, images of Shikamaru flashing in front of my eyes. _That's it!_ I gasped in pain and snuck my free arm into a hand seal. I closed my eyes tightly, focusing on the seal on my hand. The image of the seal and teaching slowly appeared as my jutsu began to work.

A feeling of lightness, a gasp of surprise, a recoil. As soon as I felt the invisibility jutsu, I used my hand seal to form another. Looking up at Emi's shocked face, her eyes darting around looking for me, I thrust my sealed hand into her stomach. She flew back as winds answered my call. I watched her land with a hard thud on her back. She sat up slowly, a small look of praise in her eyes. I doubled over, silently gasping and nursing my left shoulder. Emi's hand raised, wiping dirt and blood from her face. "Roran, come here." She cast her eyes down sadly, gesturing to the space in front of her.

I walked silently before releasing my jutsu. I quickly realized my mistake. A shock of blue caught my eye as her chakra filled punch hit me right in the gut. The air rushed around me. Eyes closed, my hands instinctively formed a seal as my memory of a wind jutsu found its way into my hands. A strong gust knocked Emi over, flipping her legs skyward, before it cradled me softly to my feet.

"Your studying has paid off." Emi praised, her features softening. Instantly the smell of old books filled my nose as pictures of bookcases overflowing came into my vision. I gulped, sending the memory away, and nodded. I brought up a hand and placed it over my heart, in an attempt to still the rapidly increasing heartbeat. Emi stood, her short dark hair blocking her face. Her arms crossed against her chest, she began walking back down the path.

Dirt and torn branches lay in our wake from the training, sunlight peaked through covering tree. The mental image of the corrupted battleground filled my mind. I shivered, thinking of Shigeo. A gentle hand gripped my shoulder. My head turned meeting the comforting gaze of Hitomi and Selquora. They gestured to Emi whow as already feet away from us, walking without a look back. I straightened and slowly began walking hissing slightly with pain. A memory began to overtake my vision. I rubbed my eyes, trying to shake it off.

I shook my head, diving into memories of a four year old me. _No one would let me play in a game of Ninja, miserable I ran off crying. My small pigtails trailing behind me, streams of tears spilling from my eyes, my little feet tripped. My tears mingled in the dirt. I remained face down, no longer caring, until a strong arm picked me up and cradled me into their chest. Sniffling, I rubbed my eyes and stared into the dark black coals of Shikaku. "There, there little Hatake." He murmured, his deep voice adding comfort while he patted my back. He carried me through familiar paths, weaving through people of Kohona. My tears never stopped, as my ears rang with rejection. I turned my little head, burying into his shoulder._

"Roran…?" I faintly heard a voice question outside my memory. My body remained walking in motion while my head was years away. "Don't bother her. She is in her memories, it is a kind of healing process." Emi said. Was she whispering?

_My delicate body squirmed, trying to remain in Shikaku's grasp as he put me down. I frowned as my feet felt a cold metal surface underneath me. Tears continued to run down my cheeks. I sniffled, earning a pat on the head while he gestured to a small boy, slightly bigger than me. "Now, Shikamaru, can you do me a favor and take care of her for a bit?" My eyes met with another charcoal pair, these filled with curiosity. The little boy nodded, pieces of black hair falling from his tiny ponytail. Shikaku grinned at me, wiping one of my cheeks. More tears quickly filled the dryness. I started to run to his departing figure when a small hand grasped. I turned. "I'm supposed to take care of you." Shikamaru muttered, tightly gripping my hand. His feet trudged towards me. He leaned towards me, curiously examining my tears. A sigh escaped him, ruffling my fiery bangs. His small hands reached up, lightly grabbing my face. "Troublesome. Why are you crying?" He whispered, using his thumbs to wipe my now rosy cheeks red. The tears stopped immediately. An unexplainable feeling overtook my child-self. A small giggle escaped me. _

It's funny how that feeling still happens around him. That is when I first realized I was in love with Shikamaru.


	19. SCARECROW

I really like this chapter, Shika is mentioned but this is more a needed character development. It should answer some or any questions my lovely readers may have. I do like this chapter though. One of my favorites but I'm not sure why. But you guys can tell me your favorite and why. Let me know (:

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My eyes drifted to the methane-hued sky. The streaks of black and gray meshed together warily. Thundering cracks resonated as I was blinded by short bolts across the sky. I shivered and gasped. My breath came in ragged intervals while I stared blankly, unseeing, at the soaked paper in my hand. The killing rain drenched it, ripping the fibers apart and floating them away. Ink rain from the torn bits, staining my hands black. My heart was pierced with the ink seemed to have worked its way turning my heart black.

I didn't believe it at first. As I looked on with playground eyes full of innocence, a harsh slap of reality, actually hard pounding, bone-drenching sideways rain, pulled me away. A memory flashed before me, one my now black heart tried to make me forget. Too bad the heart and the mind have separate rationales.

"_Rise, little phoenix rise." He hissed, his slimy hands snaking to the red tufts of hair. Being an infant and scared, I whimpered, a waterfall of tears had already flown. My fair skin was stained pink by the mixture of blood and tears. My body was numb but seeing the memory, my stomach was cut open. Forming and developing organs hung, draped over cut open flaps of skin. It was amazing my little infant month old body could still cry. Could still live. "This is a test for you, my phoenix haired ash. Rise, rise from these ashes reborn. Live, hate for me. If you can survive, my pet." A harsh giggle filled the room. "I will have all the ocular Kekkei Genkai-" His cunning words were cut off by a scream. He turned, flinging his arm out, summoning a snake to grasp the scared girl. Her piercing green eyes were horrified. _

_And somehow very familiar._

"_Emi, darling, be a doll and dispose of this waste." He gently brought a hand back to softly caress my cheek. His sharp nails picked up excess blood. Shaking his shoulders with laughter, his tongue crawled out gently lapping it. His scaly, slanted eyes grazed over my small, destroyed body with curiosity. Retracting his hand, he left, a small boy in tow. His white hair gleamed like his glasses in the light. _

_My vision began to fade but I felt myself being cradled in the arms of the girl. Her eyes betrayed ever emotion she felt. As they still do. "I promise. I promise I'll save you and protect you from here on out!" She choked out, tears spilling on my face._

I separated myself from the nightmarish memory. I gulped and hiccupped, receiving an income of water and dirt. My hands had tightly clenched my hair in an effort to escape. I opened my eyes to found myself huddled in the ground, fetal position. A shudder escaped me. Fresh tears rolled down my face, burning hot stinging my ice-cold skin. My breath came uneasy, ragged pants shaking my entire body. Whimpers came from my mouth as my mind had suddenly degraded itself into the frail, delicate infant from the past. I resisted, trying to push back into present day.

Oh, how I tried to forge memories of the past into the deepest dark depths of my heart. Oh, how I thought I had forgiven it. However, forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future. My memory remains unchanged, every detail, every instance remains perfectly clear. But I do relive those memories for an uprising hope for the future.

My body struggled to end up on my knees. My head hanging low, I clenched my fists.

I was damned from the start. This cursed memory ruptures my mind, crushing my inner sanctuary. I was never at peace. My memories never once left my mind. Every calm moment was shattered, ruined by some nightmarish haunting from the past.

But I have learned. A surge of energy burst through my body as I slowly rose to standing. Head hanging low, I opened my eyes in determination. I brought the torn, soggy in eyesight. The ink smeared, the picture disfigured. Too bad it was engraved firmly in my mind. A picture I know all too well. A little baby, fiery red bursts of hair, blue eyes clouded with white held in the arms of a scared teenage girl, piercing green eyes full of worry. The bold large print held words of death in this village of sound: Wanted. Dead. Treason.

I turned my head, gazing past my phoenix-flamed bangs. "We cannot change our memories, but we can change their meaning and the power they have over us." I received nothing but a stare holding a since of pride.

"Long ago, I was corrupted but saved by a dying infant. I swore to protect her." She cast her piercing eyes down, her dark brown hair hiding her face. Her body posture oozed shame, as she uncertainly crossed her arms. My eyes slid to the two beauties behind her. Confusion was not a feature on their faces, meaning they were previously informed. Most likely during the reliving. Sel's beautiful pastel blue hair seemed dark in the rain, streaks turning a darker and darker blue until the ends reached a lavender. Her eyes, deep blue conveying a sadness and sympathy, stood out on her tanned skin. Her lips turned into a small smile, one full of hope and renewal. My eyes shifted to the seemingly all-seeing Hitomi. Her pale blue, blind eyes remained focused towards my figure while her long silver hair stood against the dark velvety sky. Lightning bolted across the night, highlighting my teammates figures.

My body struggled to remain silent as Emi shared her part of the tale. "I had heard of the great Sannin's power and apprenticing under one, I sought the light of the others. I fled with you towards Konoha, in hopes to meet them. You were barely alive, holding on to some strand of life; but luck was on my side. Almost at the Konoha gates, the gates of our survival, I ran into Tsunade and Jiraiya. Tsunade healed you to the best of her ability and left, unable to see you die."

Flashes of a blond kuniochi came into my eyesight, I know recognized her as my savior. "I lived." I whispered, overcoming a slew of nightmares.

A comforting hand rested on my shoulder and kept me at my feet. "The reason for the sudden memories, the poster, our wanting…. Welcome to my birthplace. Your birthplace."

Her words went through one ear and out the other but still processed in my mind. Like clockwork, my mind drifted to a certain catalyst that sent my mind and heart into a frenzy. I pictured his face, his jet black hair, those dark charcoal coals, his lazy expression, finished with a slight smirk.

"I lived."


End file.
